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Dads With Swag
Dads With Swag

Episode 32 · 6 months ago

Not my body, Not my choice

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Her body her choice? What if dad wants to keep it? God wrote this would happen before I was born Psalms 139:16 Don't have sex if you're not ready to be a parent. NO GLOVE NO LOVE!!! parents talk to your kids about sex. it's easer than talking about an abortion.

You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge. You're listening to dance with SWAG, but we keeping real on all topics. Whether you're a first time parent or five time Grand Parent, this is the show bring you you, let's go. So kick back, relax, and here's your host. This this Swaggi's dad of all, son. Now Fun. So what is up? Welcome back to another episode of Dad's with Swag. We coming at you from the Swagis Studios, of all the DADS with Swag Studios. Man, this week craziness, right, you know what I'm saying. So we were going to step out there. We're going to step out there, we're going to do this show. It's probably going to Piss a lot of people off, right because, like who, people are going to be like, well, who are you to say this or who are you to say that? You know, who were you to judge or dictate what somebody should or should not do with their body or what do you who are you to like, you know, determine, you know what goes on and how people should think or you like, why is your opinion important? Right? Well, it's really not, but you're choosing to listen to this podcast. So, therefore, you have to pretty much choose to listen to me. Right. So we're going to do this in the five offend you, you know, I apologize in advance, because that definitely isn't like the reason why I'm doing this episode. It's just to kind of like give people an opportunity to think outside the box, give people a different point of view, right, give people the point of view from somebody who loves God, loves his daughter's right, I got to two daughters and chest kind of like give my point of view. If you got a differing point of view and you want to chop it up, hit me up, like, I'm more than happy to talk to you on the record, off the record. We could do a followup show about this, because I'm open to more viewpoints and more ideas. And you know what what what it's like from a female's point of view? You know, because most of the females that I surround myself with have similar points of views. Right, like, yeah, it's a woman's choice, it's their body, their choice, whoop, do whoop, but they've never made that choice, right, they've never made that choice. I don't know very many people that have made that choice and the few people that I do know that made that choice live with that guilt long after that choice is made. But you know, this isn't preaching and all that. And now it's funny I say this isn't preaching in all that. But I'm gonna start out. Want a Bible verse right, but this isn't what you're thinking, because I'm about to flip the script on a lot of Bible thumpers out there. Right. Okay, so we got Psalms one hundred and thirty nine, Verse Sixteen. Right, but with your own eyes you saw my body being formed even before I was born. You had written in your book everything about me. Right, even before I was born, you would written everything in your book about me. So if this is true, right, if I'm going to if people going to thump they bibles and they going to say what a Bible says, what a Bible says that God knew everything about me before I...

...was born. It was written in his book before I was born. And the people will be like, well, free will, free will, you're right, there is a little bit of free will. Right, a little bit of free will, but I do believe. I believe that God knows the trajectory of my life when I was born. I truly believe, and if you listen to past episodes, right about forgive and forget, about thinking people for the bullshit they put you through. Right, if you listen to my past episodes, you know I'm consistent on this. God knew exactly the family I was getting born into. God knew exactly the step dad I was going to get. God knew exactly the trials and tribulations that I would go through in my life. God prepared me for those things. God knew how I would handle those things. God knew that the only way to make me an amazing Dad I am today was to put me through that Shit. Right, I can't. I have to believe that. If I don't believe that, then it's like, well, what was all this for? Right? I truly honestly believe that. I believe that before I was born, he had written in his book everything about me. So if that's true, right. So, if that's true, so so is a as a Christian. If I'm saying yes, I agree with this, I agree with Psalms one hundred and thirty nine, Verse Sixteen, because it is written in a book that I believe in and I believe everything that's written in that book is true. Right. So if that's the case and a woman chooses to have an abortion, how come that's not pre written in God's book? How come that choice isn't pre written in his book? Right? I truly believe that if a woman chooses to have an abortion, it's because God knew she was going to have an abortion. It's because she's having that for something that is between her and God. God wants her to do that for some reason. Right. Maybe God wants her to live with the guilt, maybe God needs her to live with the shame, or maybe God needs her to live with the peace. I have no fucking idea. That's between them and God. Right. Maybe that person goes through that. So then one day, when they do have children, they appreciate them not much more. Right. Or maybe they go through that so then one day, if they don't have children, they help preach God's word and say hey, you know what, I did this and this is what happened to me, and I'm trying to help you out so you don't make the same mistake I make. Right, maybe that person is going to be a mouthpiece for God. I have no fucking idea. I'm not God, I don't know. I could guess, I could speculate, I could do all this stuff, but at the end of the day, let's be real, I have no idea why God does this stuff he does. Right, it's crazy. WHY DO BABIES DIE? Right? You so you're telling me old babies die, but that's not written his book. Of course, is written in his book. He knew that was going to happen. Right. I have some some close acquaintances. I consider him friends. They lost the child at a very, very, very young age, right. The baby was a young age, not them, they weren't a young age, but the baby was a young age and not hurt their life and that scarred their life and not put a void in their family that will never ever go away. But I also believe that it's made that family stronger and it's made that emily reach out and help other families that are going through the same shit. Right. So, yeah, God did a horrible thing to that family, but if you look at it from way up up high, at God's view, that tragedy, that horrible thing that God did, has turned to so much good, so much good, right, so much good, that this family is done so much good, that this family has helped other people get through horrible times, it's done so much good.

If it's written in his book and he knows my life before my body's even formed, then you don't you mean to tell me that he don't know that this is going to happen? You mean to tell me that God had nothing to do with creating the humans, that created the technology for this to even be something we're talking about? Do you mean to tell me that God didn't have his hand in any of this? We can't sit here and preach God, God, God, he knows everything, he's the smartest, he's the best, follow him peace, Yada, Yada, Yada, and not take the good with the bad. Right, come on now, we say God sees everything and God knows all and if you create a sin, God will forgive you for that. Right. So let's say this is a sin. Whether it is or it's not, that's not up to me. Right. That's between God and the person. Right now, we're going to get into it later on down the road, right where? Yes, murder is a sin, and it says that. But now we got to define. Well, what is a being. We're going to get into all that shit right, but right now let's just talk about like the basics, right, the basics. It's not for me to determine whether or not somebody should do something or if they or if they shouldn't do it right. It's just not it's not my place. So we're going to take a quick break. Right. If you guys got any comments on this show? You want to hit me up for other show ideas, get at me Instagram, at your coach, Sean, Sean off. I think my twitters at your coach, Sean. I think I want to do like a dad's respect, but I'm not sure. INSTAGRAM, twitter. Hit me up. I don't really use twitter very much, but instagram, DM me, or just email me, Sean shot off on socom. That's easy to we're going to take a quick break. Stay tuned. I got some more good facts coming up and if you don't agree with what I'm saying, just listen and kind of get a different viewpoint or turn it off if you or give me a call and tell me why I'm full of Shit and completely wrong. Like I have no problem. I'm wrong like ninety two percent of the time in my life right. So I have no problem with stranger where somebody I know saying, Yo, do all you really missed it on this one. You know, go rerecord another episode on why you're a fucking idiot like I have no problem with that. I'm just giving you my viewpoint right, and I don't know the whole Bible. I don't consider myself a huge theologian person. I know that I have a personal relationship with God and that's all I care about right is how me and my God, how we communicate with each other and how we rock out for each other. That's all I care about, because I can tell you right now there is no way I went from where I was at to where I'm at now, went out hit grace right, without his grace. I know that I had done way too much shit wrong in my life and I couldn't be as happy as I am today without His grace to forgive me for my sins. Right. That's what I know. That's all I really fucking know. I know there is a God and I know that I'm not him. I'm not perfect and this episode is probably going to be shit. It could be amazing. Make you think I have no idea but God put it on my heart to put this episode out. And it's kind of funny because I was talking to my wife. I'm supposed to play these commercials, but fuck it. I was talking to my wife right and I was like, baby, man, I have such a hard time coming up with an episode this week, and I'm like taking notes, I'm on the Internet, like search and Shit, and I'm like I can't do it, I can't do it right. And then like this is all Tuesday. That's usually when I plan my episodes, and all day Tuesday I'm thinking, I can't there's nothing. Maybe I don't know what I'm going to do, and she's like well, let me think of some things. I'm like thank you so much. Right, and I'm still trying to rack my brain and boom, right, watching...

...the basketball game on ticktalck and BOO Yah, there it comes off. Mike Ay, I got something I can talk about now. I got something that I'm going to make the head spin all I but here we go. We're going to take this break. Hit me up at your coach, Swan on Instagram, Sean at Shan alfonsocom. We will take this quick break. I love to get back to charity. Sometimes I find it hard to just cut a big check. I get so busy with the wife and kids. I'm more of a set it and forget it kind of guy. That's why I love the Angel Club. I can pick the amount I want taking out of my checking account every month. I never see the money, so I never miss the money and I could always feel good knowing I'm giving back every month. If you want to join the Angel Club, just go to Pierce Family Foundationcom. Welcome back to dad's with swag. Check us out on itunes and please subscribe, rate and review the show. We need all the love we can get. You can find all our past episodes on Dad's with swagcom. Follow us on social media at your coach, Shawn, and if you have any questions or show ideas or you want to come on the show, email me at Sewan, at Sean alfonsocom. You are now about to witness the stress of street knowledge. Now back to dad's with swag, where your host Shawn now fund. So Welcome Back Dad's with swag. Here he go. Who who? Education? Right Education? Do you think that like education is an important part of all this? Right, like are we educating young boys and girls right, about the consequences of having sex? Right? Are we educating young boys and girls about the different types of birth control? Right, like, are we talking to them about these things? I know personally, as a dad, I've been. I've been talking to my kids about this since day one. Right, you guys know I've done previous episodes. I had my home girl, Jody K. She's come in the studio, she's helped me record episode. Go check those episodes out. Right, she teaches these puberty classes, right, I think she starts some and like third grade. I think that's when my girls went to see jody first. Right, and she's created, you know, the most comfortable environments, right, like I remember we did. We did a puberty class at my house. We had, you know, it was just dad's talking about girls going through puberty and, you know, we had some Bourbon and some snacks and, like it was so chill and I still remember that shit to this day. Like I got a teenage off my a vor. Right, she's like in the deep throes of puberty right now and every time she gets that Sassy ass look on her face or gets a little attitude, all I could think about is Jodk's diagram of the female hormone system going to puberty, right, and how it's like a fucking heartbeating line, just like Dood Dod Doug Du up down, up, down, up, down, up, down. And then you see like the male puberty line and it's kind of like straight flat line, beep, and then it'll go up boom, down, flat, flat, flat, and and it's like complete night and day, right, because like a dude, it's like you'll have a little spike, then it'll come back to normal, have a little spike, come back to normal, and a poor girl it's like all over the place, right. So I always take that into consideration, right. Always take that in consideration. I have no problem talking to my daughter's about condoms, just like I got no prom talking my daughter's about tampons. Couple weeks ago, in fact, my oldest daughter texting me. She's like, Dad, I need some more tampons. I'm out. Can you go go to the store and get me some, you know, before I get home from school? Bet Right, like you...

...got it, no problem. I talked to my daughter when she got, you know, in high school, the first serious boyfriend, and we had talked numerous times before this. Right, no glove, no love, straight up, like. I've preached that to my kids since they were probably eight or ten years old, even before puberty came, right, because I wanted them to know. I wanted it deep in their head. Right. It's like you could do all this print, like I said, a religious dude. Yeah, don't have sex to you're married. That's cool, that's like. In theory, yes, amazing, right, but in reality, in reality, I need to prepare my children for fucking reality, not for theory, not for fucking pipe dreams. Right. Yes, do I think that would be cool if my daughters can wait until they get married to make love to one man for the rest of their life? Yes, that'd be an amazing story for them to share with their children. I've never had no other sexual partner except your parent. That'd be sick. That'd be cool. I wish that I could have said that, but let's let's get into reality. Right, in reality, the odds of my children having sex before they graduate college or very, very high. They're pretty high that they'd have sex before they graduate high school. But I got some things going for me, right, a very involved dad. That decreases the likelihood of sex in high school. My kids are very active in sports and theater and things like that, like extracurricular activities. That also decreases it. Right. So I got some things in my favorite I'm buying myself some fucking time. But one thing I'm not going to do is I'm not going to trade one for the other. I'm not going to say, well, Seaun, you're buying yourself so much time, so you don't have to say nothing about it. You Ain't got to worry about it. No, because I'm not ready to be a GRANDPA yet. I'm not ready for that. I would one day, yes, but I'm not ready for that now. So I need to teach my kids right. No Glove, no love, plain and simple. When Bella gotten her first serious relationship, I delivered her a box of condoms and I said, honey, I'm not telling you to go have sex, I'm not telling you I want you to have sex, but I'm just saying I know what teenage boys are like and I know that this young man is going to tell you a twenty times from Sunday how much he loves you and how much he cares about you so he can get what he wants, because I was that young man. Well, I never told a girl that I loved her, though, so I do have that going for me, right. I wasn't that much of an Asshole, but I had homeboys that did right and they laugh about it. Oh Man, I told her I loved her, got the good eason and I was out right. But it that shit happens. My daughter's need to be fucking prepared and it's my job to prepare them right now. I'm not talking kindergarten right, I'm not talking at second, great or third grade. I'm talking like fifth grade, right before middle school, preparing for middle school right. Because if you grew up when I grew up or any time they're after I'm not sure, like before, like I don't know if, like my parents generation, if this shit was going on, but it could be. But I know in middle school there was girls give him blow jobs behind the baseball field. I know it. I know the girl's names to this day in my fucking head. Right. I know that that happened. So I knew going into it. I knew that my kids needed to be prepared right. They needed to be educated. So you got to educate your kids right let's start from a fucking young age. What is birth control? What are the different types of birth control? Is is having an abortion a proper way of birth control? Is being on the pill a good way to have birth control? Right, so, but now, like you're thinking about this, okay, well, the girls can just take the pill. Yeah, but the pill fucks up their hormones, right. So,...

...my she's probably going to fucking kill me for saying this, but oh well, I love you. Be Bella had some problems with some cysts, right, like ovary cysts or something like that, overy insists, and they're so painful, like super duper fucking painful for a young woman to go through this shit. I don't know. I've never had it, so I don't know, but we went to specialist after specialist and they recommended her going on birth control pills, right, because I guess whatever the hormones are in birth control pills can help with these cyst things, right. But so it was cool, right, everything was cool for like six months, maybe a year, eight months, something like that, I don't know. It's been covid time. Time is all fucked up in my head. But then it's like she's starting to get Moody and starting to get acne and starting to like get rashes and having like periods on top of periods on top of periods, will all of a sudden not pilled it. She was on not working no more. Right, boom, we got to take another pill, a different kind of fucking pill, and then we hope to God that that Shit works right, and then if that doesn't, oh, we got to try, like there's no fucking solution. There's no like you broke your arm, let's cast it in your better right. So, dudes, educate your fucking self, because the pill ain't just some like easy peasy thing, right, because if the pill was an easy, think peasy thing, here's the thing, right. People say, well, like why don't you? Won't, Dude, do shit, because I'm going to tell you right now. Right my daughter has timers on her phone when they got it, when she got to take her pill. Right. My wife, when she used to be on birth control pills, she had a timer on her phone when she won't take the pill. Dudes, if we miss a pill, we ain't tripping whatever, I'll double up tomorrow. It doesn't work that way, though, right, ladies, it doesn't work that way, like you have to be on top of it and then you have to remember, Oh damn, did I take any antibiotics during this cycle? Because if you took antibiotics, that can take away the effects of a pill. Right. So it's like, yeah, that's a good form of birth control pill, but I mean a good form of birth control, but it's a pain in the ass as well, right, because what if they miss it? They got to always stay on top of it, right, why do they get that fucking responsibility? They're thing people, people on the Internet. I keep seeing this one thing, like, fucking dudes, yssectomies reversible. Get a VI say every young man should have a Bisectomy, and then when they're responsible to raise a child, they can get the vissectomy reversed. And then it's like, Oh, you uncomfortable with me talking about your body? I'm not uncomfortable at all. Right, that's exactly what I thought. Oh yeah, bisectomies are reversible. Oh yeah, vissectomy is a good form of birth control. Right. So I'm like, fuck it, dude, I'm I'm pro you know, equal Lib whatever. It shouldn't all be on the woman. Should fall on the dude as well. So I'm like, fuck it, I'm gonna go get a visect to me because I had my two babies. I wasn't sure if I was having more kids. Maybe adoptor have foster kids, and I'm going to talk about adoption down the road to right, but maybe do a different way. I wasn't sure if I wanted more kids. But Fuck I'll have a Visex to me because it's reversible. Right. That's what we're told. That's what we're taught time and time again. Get A viseet to me. It's reversible. Let me tell you this. I got a fucking bisectomy. reversable reverse. So didn't take come to find out, when you get a viseet to me and then you want it reversed, it's like thirty, forty percent chance of success. Plus my nuts hurt from the incision for like a year, a year. It was the most excruciating pain ever. I had stitches in places you don't want stitches for a year they were sensitive and sore and it hurt. Right, visectomy is not a form of birth control. Bysect to me is hanging up to hat right. Vi Sect to me is like you...

...know what I think? I'm like? Ninety five percent. Sure I don't want to have kids anymore because it is reversible, but there's only a thirty percent success rate that the reversals going to hold on, that is gonna Work Right, that it's going to work, that you're going to be able to have kids. So if you're a young couple and you haven't had kids yet and the girl doesn't want to go on the pill and the dude doesn't want to wear condoms because it takes the sensation away, and they're like well, honey, get a viseet to me and then we can reverse it when we're ready to have kids, don't do that, because it's not necessarily going to work. And if you do choose to do that, then go put some sperm on ice freezos. motherfuckers up, because you don't want me to tell you about what they have to do to you when you want to have kids and your vicetomy doesn't your visectomy reversal doesn't work, because that is a level of pain that comes next the place. They have to insert that big ass needle nine times on each side. My doctor called it a Wayne Gretsky. Yeah, it ain't fun boys, let me tell you. It's not fun, no glove, no love. Man, I'm telling you guys now, maybe big Farma, right, big farmer, can invent all this shit. Maybe big farmer can invent some kind of device that can like go between, like the testicles and the urethra, right, like a little like the girls have. The IUD's are, whatever they're called, like the thing that gets inserted in there. Right, D not. Do you fucking eyed us. I don't know what it is called, but whatever it is, you guys know what I'm talking about, right, the thing it gets inserted up there that's supposed to like stop pregnancy, but you don't have to worry about taking a pill every day. But then I heard those things don't even work all the time. And Man not. Yeah, like it's once again it. Why do we always got to put it on a woman, right? Why can't big farm of figure something out to that the dudes can use? It can come in and out easily, like, I have no idea. People way smarter than me got to figure that shit out, right, but the first thing we got to do is stop putting it the responsibility on the female right, educate people on how they can get pregnant when they can get pregnant and how easy it is to get pregnant. Educate them on different forms of fucking birth control, right, because this is a different time. This isn't the time when Jesus wrote. This isn't the Bible time for all my fucking Bible dumpers out there. This isn't the religious time. This isn't like the Muzzli every religion right, whatever religion it is, it's not that time a hundred fucking years ago. This is today. This is today when kids have access to porn on their phones, on their ipads, on their devices, on all the computers that every kid now has for fucking school because they've been remote learning. They have access to porn. There's anime shit that's very graphic. There's tick tocks with half naked ladies. Thanks again all the fucking horrors out there that are advertising their only fans account on Tick Tock, which used to be musically, which was an APP for kids to dance. Then they got bought out by Tick Tock and then it was an APP for kids to dance and then all of a sudden all these fucking thirst trap MOMS decided they want to make some money off only fans and they're going to advertise on tick tock with their tits showing. Yeah, our kids see that shit too. Button the fuck up, or go just advertise your only fans via only fans, or make a private instagram account and don't let young kids see it.

You know what I'm saying? Like that, it's over. You can't put the cat back in the bag. So all we can do is fucking educate our kids. No Glove, no love. Yes, abstinence is the number one way to stop from getting pregnant, number one, but who the fuck is going to be abstinent in this day and age? Like, let's be realistic. Then we got you know, Oh, well, adoption, right, all these all these people who are like anti abortion or like fucking pro adoption. Right. I've met with like a few people that are anti abortion, like big time fucking anti abortion. You know how many kids together those people have adopted? Zero? Zero. None. They're preaching out in front of Fucking Plan Parenthood, yelling and screaming at young girls to not fucking get an abortion, but they're not in line to get, get to adopt that kid. They're not in line. They're not lined up on my house is full Oh, we got problems of our own in my family. What. And you know what, good at your fucking family and fix your problems and stop boring about somebody else's right adoption. But let me tell you also about adoption. Adoption is not easy. Wife and I, I think, after our third failed IVF, we looked into adoption. Right. I reached out to my old pastor, I consider a close friend, a confidant. He went through a doubt, he did some adoption. I reached out to him. He gave me the contact lady for the contact number for the best lady in Arizona when it comes to adoption. I had her and it still wasn't an easy process. It still was going to take a long time, right, just to get a baby that we can love forever. Right. But then let's say a fucking teen mom gives their kid up for adoption. Write a team, team parents, right. Mom and dad both decided, hey, you know what, we had sex. We wasn't really thinking. We knew that this could possibly be an outcome, but we don't want this kid because we're in college, or we're going to college, or we just started a new job because we just graduated, whatever the hell it is right, they're like the boy and a girl like no, we're going to give it to a loving family, right, someone who really wants a baby and wants to raise a baby and can raise our baby. Right. But then what happens eighteen years down the road, or fifteen years down the road, or seventeen years down a road, whatever, however many fucking years, when the kid learns about twenty three and me right and without the parents permission, without anybody fucking know, and goes on the Internet orders a twenty three and me on Amazon. It shows up at the front door two days later, because we all know our teenage kids get just as many Amazon packages as we get. Right, I'm putting Amazon packages in the girl's rooms all the time. I don't know what's really in there. I never open them. It's none of my business. Ninety nine percent of time is like makeup or shoes for be. Right, make up for AVA, shoes for be. It's crazy. But anyway, what if it's a twenty three and meet Kit and the kid decides? You know what I'm going to do with twenty three and me? Find Out who my birth parents are. Then the next thing you know, the kids it's their birth parents doorstep going Yo, I'm the baby you gave up fifteen years ago, sixteen years ago, twenty five years ago. What do you got to say about that? Right? But then it can go one of either way. Right then the person will be like, well, I gave you up then and I don't want nothing to do with you now. Kick rocks. Oh, that's not fucking traumatic for a kid, right. or it can be like, Oh my God, you're sixteen or fifteen years old. Oh my gosh, I love you. It was my biggest regret. I've never knew how to get in touch with you because it was a closed adoption and it was my biggest reget, Gret and life giving you up. Come live with me now, because I'm your birth mom, I'm your birth dad. Come live with me now, this family that has raised this child from birth as their own, love them as their own, because I don't give a fuck. Unless you a cold hearted person, you...

...can't have a kid living in your house that you don't fall in love with and love them as your own. Right. You might not have birthed them, you might not have donated the sperm, you might not have given the egg, you you might not have pushed it out of your couter, but you love them as your own. And if you want to fight me on that, cool, because I could. I could definitely throw down on that one, because we can talk about parents from surrogate parents, we can talk about parents that have used other people's embryos, we can talk parent other people sperm all day long. I can go off on that one because I guarantee you, once you have a child in your house, you will love them like your own, and they will also drive you fucking crazy like your own as well. Right, but you will love them like unless you a cult. Now, remember, this stuff doesn't go like for the extreme strike, because there's a butunt. There's probably a bunch of step parents out there that hate their stepkids. They'll never love them like their own. Right. But I know for a fact wife loves my children like her own. She would bleed for them, she would die for them, she would do anything she possibly could for them. Right, like, let's be realistic, these are fucking facts. So now you got a kid that for all these years you've loved like your own and now all of a sudden they're like, Nope, I'm going to go live with my birth parent, my birth mom, who didn't want nothing to do with me, but now she's changed her life, for gotten that, that job she's succeeded in, and now she's successful, you know, and that's what I want to do. So what about, though? What about that? Right? So, when you're adopting, you think about all this shit. You think about all this stuff, right. How was this going to come back to bite me in the ASS, because I know that when we were going through the process, that's what we are thinking about, right man, this stuff is getting deep, people. I'm gonna give you a break. We're going to listen to a couple like little commercials here. Hit me up on Instagram, at your coach Shawn, on twitter, at your coach on or email me, Sean A, Sean Alfan SOCOM when we get back, man, we going to talk about when is a baby a baby right, embryo's ages, all this stuff. This stuff is getting deep and, like I said, man, I might be fool as shit. You might not agree with the one word I say, you might disagree with everything I say, you might agree with fifty percent of the things that I say, but this is just my opinion and is with love and with gratitude and with kindness and with an open heart, that I make this episode right, that I make this episode because maybe there's a dad out there, or maybe there's a mom out there that's listening to this episode that's going to go buy a box of condoms and tell their kid never have fucking sex without this. And I know I've told you a hundred times abstinence is the best way to go, and I know I told you a hundred times if you have sex, they're going to go to hell. But if you were to have sex before you go to hell, use this right, because I'm okay, I'm missing his break to this break's going to be late too, because this just dawned on me right. This just dawned on me. God, just put this all my heart for all my Bible thumper friends out there that are listening to this episode. If I'm going to go to hell for having premarrital sex and I get pregnant for having premarrital sex and I choose to have an abortion, but I'm going to go to hell for having an abortion, well, won't I be in Hell Anyway? So that's not going to discourage people. If I'm already going to hell for having premarrital sex and I'm going to hell for having an abortion. Well, I've had premarrital sex way more times than I've had an abortion. I could probably getting forgiven for...

...one abortion, but I can't get forgiven for the six hundred times I've had premarrital sex or the ten different partners I've had premiartal sex with and the twenty partners I plan to have premarrital sex with before I even get married. Come on now, if we're going to if we're going to quote, if we're going to preach this Bible right and we're going to save these things, then we can't be hypocritical, right. We can't say one sin is bigger than another, because we know it as false. We know one sin is just as horrible as another sin. Right. A sin is a sin is a sin. Right. So, if God can forgive somebody for having premarrital sex because it was written, God knew that person was going to be a hoe, male or female Hoe, right, I'm not just saying a woman. If God knew those people were going to be hose and God knew those people were going to do whatever they chose to do with the baby that they made, then who are we to say anything about it? Who Are we? Are we hitting these brakes? Hit Me Up, IG at your coach Shawn, email me, Shan Shan alfonsocom will be a pack Yo. Fellas, did you know that forty percent of men can't stay hard long enough to please their lady? Even the swaggiest of men can't fake an erection. Lucky for you, I have a swagged, doubt VIP entrance type solution. It's called for hymnscom, a onestop shop for hair loss and sexual wellness for men. Look, with kids, work and that honey do list, who has time to hit up the doctor and get a prescription for that little blue pill? What if I told you I can hook you up with the way? You can get the erectile without the dysfunction from the comfort of your own home. And I'm not talking some quote unquote supplement you pick up at the gas station or late night TV. I'm talking real prescription medicine that has a proven track record. We all know the little pill that starts with the letter V. Well, it's just went generic and for hymns has your hook up. All you have to do is fill out a few questions and chat with a doctor for a confidential review and before your next date night, the prescription medication will ship discreetly to you from for hymns and I got you back. Try for hymns for a month for just five dollars. Will get you started for just five bucks while supplies last. See website for full details. This would cost hundreds if you went to a doctor or a pharmacy. Go to for hymnscom Swag Ed. That's F O R H I amscom s Wa g Ed for him's Swag Ed. Welcome back to dad's with swag. Check us out on itunes and please subscribe, rate and review the show. We need all the love we can get. You can find all our past episodes on Dad's with swagcom follow us on social media at your coach, Shawn, and if you have any questions or show ideas or you want to come on the show, email me at Sewan at Sewan alfonsocom. You are now about to witness the stress of street knowledge. Now back to dad's with swag, where your host Shawn now fund. So welcome back. All Right, here we are, back at it again. Y. Yeah, I hope you guys aren't two pissed to me. I hope that you're getting something from this, even if...

...it's just a little bit right, even if it's a little something something, even if it's like, Hey, you know what, I'm going to go sign my kid up for a puberty class. I'M gonna go take a puberty class by myself just so I could figure out what the hell is going on. I'm going to educate myself and then I'm going to make sure that my kid gets educated, because I think that's where the key is, right. I think that's where the key is for you know, I think it's the education aspect. I think in Paris need to stop putting our heads in the sand and being like, abstinence is the way to go. It is the way to go. We've all agreed on that point. We've all agreed on it. I don't care how much sex you've had as an adult. We all agree that we don't want that for our kids. Right, we've all agreed on that. As a decent parent, you don't want your kids to do drugs, you don't want your kids to get too drunk, you don't want your kids to have too much premarrital sex. And if they do, which they will, they're going to drink alcohol. They're going to have premarrital sex, no glove, no love, right, maybe even double it up. Have the no glove, no love, plus you on a birth control pill. Plus he's going to pull out, right. And fellas, after you pull out and you take that condom off, make sure you fucking dump that shit in the toilet and flesh it, right, or like, oh me for a little Tabasco in there, right, because women are crazy. Right, they're crazy. They'll do things. They'll do things what they got to do. Right. Then it's like yeah, well, that's for a whole nother episode, right, for a whole NU episode. Right now, though, we're going to talk about when is a baby a baby, and this is just my personal beliefs, right. This is in a lot of this stuff are new beliefs, because I didn't really know a lot of this stuff till wife and I were going through the in vitro process. Right, we are trying to have a kid, and then a lot of it, this shit got defined for me and buy me and he are all, like I said, personal beliefs. There's nothing scientific about this. I'm just giving you guys, my experience. And maybe there's a young kid out there who is thinking about having premarrital sex or just had premarrital sex, and they're trying to figure out whether or not to have an abortion or if it's too late or this, that or the third, and maybe this information could help them. I have no idea, but I'm just going to tell you for me, for me, when a baby was a baby was when the embryo blasted, and that's five days after it's fertile. Fertilize, right. So five days after an embryo is is fertilized, when they would take my sperm and my wife's egg and they fertilize the too, right. There's a big drop off. There's a big dropoff between the fertilized egg and the success of it lasting five days to blasting, right, those blasted embryos, those are only embryos that you can genetically test, right. So it has to be blasted before can get genetically tested. Then they genetically tested to see if it's viable, you know, to get put into your body. Okay. So, to me, when I when I would send something for the genetic testing. That's when I fell in love with that baby, right. That's when I knew that that was a potential kid, that was my and my wife's potential kid. That's when we got excited about having a baby. Right, because the IMP that the implanting part. That's easy, right. That's the easy part. It's the getting those healthy embryos that have blasted, that are chromos...

...only correct, that have been tested, and I'm not talking about like eyes and like fucking hair color kind of testing. This is just saying, Hey, you know what are we see the blasting or their chromosomes up in this thing, right, and you can't pick like boy, girl, I don't know. Some people could probably pick. We weren't fucking with none of that. We're just making sure that these were healthy enough to put inside my wife. Right. But let me tell you, man, we had some healthy ones. Put them inside. I fell in love with that baby. I was I was ready to have a baby. I fell in love with them, each and every one of them. That didn't last. They didn't in. This is heavy on my heart, man, because I've fell in love with those embryos, those embryos to me. Now, remember, man, this is just me. I don't need you to say what your thoughts are. And Oh it should be ninety two weeks before it's considered a kid, or it should be able to live on its own. I'm telling you when I fell in love with my baby, and that's when, after they blasted and they were embryos and after they blasted, that's when I fell in love. That's when I got excited. That's when my heart would break when we found out it didn't work right. Because if it wasn't a living thing, if it wasn't something that I fell in love with them, why was the heart fucking break so bad right? Why was my heart shattered in a million pieces when I found out, you know, a month later, a couple weeks that I can't remember now. I've blocked it out right. Why would I block it out if it wasn't so bad, right? Because to me it was a living thing. It was a living thing. Okay, it might not have been able to live on its own, but there's hospitals filled with fucking people that can't live on their own. Why ain't we pulling all their plugs? I'm just telling you. When I would fall in love with my baby, it was a living thing, it was my baby. I lost those babies. Okay, that's how I feel. It's completely personal. The science, the medical might not back any of it up, but that's my heart. Okay, that's my feelings. Now here's another thing, because when you go through all this stuff, you got a sign all these papers. Right. So we take out all kinds of eggs and we take out all kinds of sperm. Remember, I told you about these fucking Gret Skis. I was doing right. Yeah, we had to do multiple of those because it didn't work a bunch of times. Right, we blasted. Didn't work. They didn't take right. Whatever. God's plan, right, he'd written this already. He knew this pain would be on my heart. He knew I was going to record this episode. He knew the fucking Supreme Court would do this shit. Right, he knew all this already. So you sign these papers, right, and you sign these papers. It say, okay, all the embryos that are left over, you know that are frozen, because you're going to freeze them. Do Well, even if, okay, are you going to freeze them after? Yes or no? Right, you got to sign that a way. And then, once you do that. Then you got to make a choice. Right. So, say it works, then you got to make a choice, because someone's got to keep paying the tab for them to be frozen. Are you going to continue to keep these embryos on the ice and, if so, for how long? How long are you going to keep you like seventy years old? You won't keep paying the bill to keep these fucking embryos on ice, or you going to destroy him? That was hard for me. I was fighting that demon in my head. Right. Well, do we implant all of them and have triplets? DO WE OCTO vomit? Just get them all in there? What a final time that wife and I decided to give it one more fucking crack at the plate, one more swing to see what fucking if we,...

...you know, rolled the dice, come up aces, let's see what happens. We had one embryo that blasted, that came out cool, just one out of I think like sixteen. Right. We had one that we can implant that was viable enough to possibly become a baby. Right, we had one. Well, we put that one in and now I got little man. Right, because God knew, because he had pre written, as I believe God knew my heart I couldn't have babies in a freezer, right, because we figured out what I define as a baby. After it blasts to me, okay, that's my baby. I could not have them in a freezer. I couldn't do it and I definitely couldn't kill him. But that's only me. Okay. But God knew what I could handle and what I couldn't handle. And God probably knew that my wife didn't want five kids and if we had, you know, for other embryos on ice, my wife would have five kids because I'd keep been planting them. I've been plant them in or sleep if I needed to. So we had one. It worked. That's amazing, right, because I couldn't. I couldn't do that. Now, some people could. There's thousands of people that do it all the time, right, every day, every day, but that's just not me. And and then my other thing is to is like at what age? And I don't know the answer to this, I really don't. I'm sure there's some lawyer out there that probably knows. There's probably some kind of like definitive answer, but if somebody kills a pregnant woman, at what point does that become double murder. Now, I know that Scott Peterson dog he got him to up for double murder because his pregnant wife, but I think she was close to have in the baby. Right. Is there a date? Is there like if the if the woman is ex amount of long of being pregnant, because I know I've heard stories of other dudes that like found out their old lady was pregnant, didn't want to vacate with him, killed them. Right. At what point is that double murder? Right? Is that one week? Is At fifteen weeks? Is that thirty two weeks? I have no idea, I don't but we need to take that into consideration. Right, because it's her body, her choice. That's what we're saying, right, but then we're also saying, well, it's her body, but just because it's her body doesn't mean she can kill something else that's inside of her body. Right. So it just so crazy because, like, at what age does her body become her choice? Right? At what age? Because I get I get grief of I'm a total your body, your choice kind of guy. Right, because I don't believe that it's a man's job to dictate what a woman does with their body. Right, and I've a lot of women in my life say that I fucked up, right, because I say that to my daughters. Your body, your choice. Well, one of my daughter's decides she don't want to wear bra ever, ever, and all the women in my life are like dad, you need to put a brawn or you need to make a wear Bra. Her body, her choice. Right, her body her choice. Bull. Then I get like people saying, well, you know, she's only x years old. You have to make the choice for it. She doesn't know better. So what point does it become her body her choice? Is it eighteen? So if my teenage daughter gets pregnant, am I allowed to jump in there and be like a board, or is it? Is it her choice, or is it not her choice? Right? Is it her choice to her body her...

...choice? Is it her choice to have sex, or should I put a chastity belt on her? Like at what point, at what age, is it her choice? Is it eighteen, so she's old enough to abort a baby, but not old enough to drink alcohol. Right. So is it twenty one, like at what point she's old? You know, it's like sixteen. She's old enough to drink and drive and kill. Somebody in the street but she's not old enough to have an abortion like this is so crazy as a parent, right, because it's like we don't know, we don't fucking know, none of us know. And then to the boys get any choice. Right. I would be brokenhearted if I found out that I had gotten somebody pregnant and they had an abortion and they killed my baby. I would have I would be heartbroken, devastated, and if you ever did that, don't call me now and you're listening to this episode. Don't Holler me and be like well, dumb ass, I did that twenty five years ago. My heart, even today, wouldn't be able to take that right. So do us men get a choice? Do we get a choice? Right, because at some point, at some point, we chose to have sex, at some point we chose to be intimate with each other. And once again, once again, I'm not talking about fucking rape, I'm not talking about forced sex, I'm not talking about pasted out, drunk and you had sex with somebody. I'm not talking about any of these fucking huge outliers. Right. Because, yes, if somebody gets raped, they shouldn't have to fucking worry about keeping some dudes kid with them progressed in their life and being reminded of it. And second of all, if you rape a bit, you lose all parenthal rights. Homie, you lose all fucking judgment in any decision making. You lose your opinion right straight up. So let's not fucking get all tangled in the weeds. What about incests, and what about that? You know what, I got a shotgun for that motherfucker and she could have all the abortions she wants right like. Let's keep it real. How about if somebody is incests, if somebody's incesting somebody, and I don't even know what the fucking right word is. If somebody's like raping a girl, then we shoot them right fucking cut their dick off. I don't know, but they don't get an opinion on whether or not that baby that comes out gets to live or die. You've lost that ability. Stop raping, Dumb Ass. How about fucking that? Okay, that's a whole other episode, but I'm talking about just the like normal boyfriend, girlfriend, right, the one night stands, the hookups. If you're responsible to have a one night stand, then you should be responsible to together make the decision right, or you should be responsible to know. Hey, I could get pregnant. Great, I could get pregnant by having sex. I don't know if the condom is going to work. There could be a hole in it. It's only ninety something percent effective. I don't know if my birth control is going to work. Did I forget to take it tonight before I went out and how a couple cocktails? Oh, he told me he had a visect. To me how to fuck. You prove that. So it's too late. Right. Dudes would lie like that's it. I should have talked about this before when I was talking about bisectomies. Are we going to trust young men to say, Oh, yeah, I got my vicectomy, it's all perfectly fine. Fuck No, are you stupid? There's no way dudes will be lying. I just told you that dudes will lie and tell a woman they love them to get in the panties. You don't think a dude's going to be like, Oh, I had my visact to me, Oh yeah, it's working, great, to try to get in there. Come on now, come on, let's let's be realistic. But anyways, back to this,...

...their body, their choice. Does the boy get any say right, if, if, if high school kids are dating or college kids are dating and they get pregnant and the girl wants an abortion, what is the dude get to say? It's hot, it's his kid too, it's half his kids. Well, now, I understand she has the responsibility of carrying it to birth. I understand that she her body changes, and I get all of that. But let's think about it, man, let's be let's think about it. That's also his child. What if he wants to keep it and she doesn't? What happens then? Like, let's think about the psychological ramifications of that young dude. Right, they both made the choice. If you don't want to get pregnant, then don't fuck. That's the best way about it. If you don't want to have if you don't want to have a baby, then don't have sex. If you choose to have sex, then be prepared. You can possibly get pregnant and an abortion is not a form of birth control. It's not. Now, if you made a mistake and shit happens, which always does, then in the dude is like, Oh my God, baby, I love you and I can't believe that fucking we did this and we're so stupid. What are we going to do? This is going to fuck up the rest of our life. And you guys come together as a choice and this is the choice we're going to make, then cool. But what happens if the girl wants it and the dude doesn't? Right, what about that? Because I saw somebody else post it was like, ha ha, dude, just think like one through your pay checks on child support and you're going to vote no against abortion. Like come on, let's be sensitive, fucking humans. It's not always about the money and the child support, right, because a kid cost a lot more than fucking any child supports going to pay. But what if? What if the girl wants it in? The dudes like no, like I don't and I know that this probably happens way more right where. The dudes like no, I got a football scholarship to college. Sweethet, you stay here in pod on Ido Right, get that abortion. I'll pay for fifty percent and drop you off in my Mustang. Come on right, like that happens, we know it. But then what? I like that. So then the girl say she doesn't have the abortion. She's like I want to of the kid in the dudes like Nah, I don't want no part of this kid, because this was a mistake. At what point? My Body, my choice. At what point my sperm my choice? Right, that's my sperm, that's half of my embryo. My Choice. I don't know. Don't have sex, keep your sperms inside you and you'll never have to worry about that fucking choice. Right. I guess that would be my only recommendation. Keep them and keep those sperms inside you and you ain't going to have to worry about that. Don't let no dude put sperms inside you and you're not going to have to worry about that. And then we got, you know, abstinence. Yes, if you don't want a baby, don't have sex, but we know that that doesn't work, right. We just don't. I don't know. It's it's so crazy and it's like, as a dad, I sit here and I think about that, you know, like if one of my daughters were to get pregnant, like what would I do? How would I advise them? You know, and I'm just going to keep it real as we wrap this up, I'm just going to keep I'm going to keep it one hundred percent real. But you guys and this is exactly what I would tell my daughter's first of all, if you like them enough to have sex...

...with him, you better like them enough for him to be the daddy of your baby and you better like them enough for him to be in your life for the rest of your life. Even if you guys get married or don't get married or whatever, once you share a kid together, you guys are stuck together forever, not just till that kid turns eighteen, because you're going to want to go to that kids merrit wedding, you're going to want to go see your grandkids and you know what, that other fools going to be there right. So don't have sex with somebody that you're not willing to a have a kid with and be having your life for the rest of your life. Now, if you do have sex and you're not prepared for those things and shit happens, like in life, Shit happens, then we'll figure that out. Daddy will raise that baby. You know, I like that that. That's probably what I would do. I would discourage my kids from having an abortion because I don't know if my children, and nor do I want my children to live with that guilt for the rest of their lives. And let's say that fifteen, ten, fifteen years down the road, when they get married and they want US heart a family and now they're having miscarriage after miscarriage, they're not getting pregnant. They're not getting pregnant. You don't think they're going to look back and they're going to blame those a that abortion or abortions on the fact that they can't get pregnant? Now, dude, that's psychologically fucked up. That's messed up. I don't want my kids to go through that, but daddy will be here to support you. And and if my daughter's like my daughter in the the dude that gets her pregnant, if they're like Mr Alfonso, we were, we want to have an abortion, then I'm going to tell you right now I will walk with my daughter hand in hand, with our fucking heads held high, saying this is how God has written it in his book, and I will be there to support my daughter, daughter's right. That's not what I want for them, but I also don't want them to drink and drive and kill somebody. But if that were to fucking happen, I would walk into that court room with my head held high and support my children and if there's somebody else out there their dad's not in the fucking picture or their parents aren't in the picture and they need somebody to talk to, hit me up at your coach Shan on Instagram. Email me, shawn at Sean alfonsocom I can listen, I can give you the best advice I can and I could hold your hand and we could go in whatever decision you need to make. What your head held high because at the end of the day, at the end of the day, it's between them and God. We need to keep our fucking ass out their business. It's between them and God. Right, that's it. It's not for I don't even know if there's twelve people in secure on the Supreme Court, right, but it's not for those twelve to judge. It's none of those twelve people's business. It's not because we're sitting here saying my body, my choice. Know, in fact it's God's body, his choice. He will take your last breath at a blink of a finger. He will take it. It's his body, it's his choice. And if you're atheist and you don't believe in that, when you know what the Big Bang could happen all over again and we're all fucking wiped out. But at the end of the day, all we can do is love and support people. So let's stop fighting...

...and let's just keep loving. And if you know somebody in your life that's struggling with this, then don't just preach Adam, listen to them, be there, help them. Whatever decision they choose to make, hold their head up high. But you got to remember it takes two to tango, and if ain't nobody fucking tangoing, then nobody's getting pregnant. And if nobody's getting pregnant, then this is a moot point and there's no abortions. Right. And if we all tell our kids at a young age, because we're not too scared aired we're not to chicken, no glove, no love. We tell our young girls, boys will say anything to get that Dick in you. They'll say anything, they'll tell you I love you a thousand times, they'll kiss you, to wine and dine you. Right, no glove, no love. And if you need you're not sure about the no glove, no love, then get your daughter on birth control. If you work in big Farma or you know somebody that works in big farmer, your hell is smart and you're a doctor or chemist or something. Create some type of the vice that boys put. Let's put the onus on them as well, right, but we do also know that boys are tricky and lazy, so keep that in mind when you creating something. But if I sect to me, is also not a form of birth control. Let me tell you that. Right now, Shit hurts, but it doesn't hurt as much as a broken heart and it doesn't hurt as much as taking the life of something that can possibly be living inside somebody, and it doesn't hurt as much as having to live with that. Now, I'm not saying that every single person that has an abortion fills the guilt, but I bet you if everybody that had an abortion was honest with themselves, there's moments where they feel guilty, there's moments where they feel shame, there's moments where they wish they didn't do what they did. And if not, that's cool too. That you know, that's a blessed thing. You are blessed. But whether it is or not, like whether they're they feel the shame or the guilt or their feel perfectly fine, perfectly happy with that decision that they made. That's between them and God and less stay out of people's business. Let's stay out of people's business. We out. Thanks for listening to dance with Swag. Check out new episodes. Every Thursday I'm going dad's with swagcoming download past episodes.

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