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Dads With Swag
Dads With Swag

Episode · 4 years ago

The Blame Game

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Sean talks about all the people we blame and how we need to turn blames into thanks. You blame pops for leaving your mom? Start thanking him for giving your mom peace of mind to raise a man like you. rxbar.com/swag for 25% off your first order HIMS.com/swag and get set up and first month … Continue reading The Blame Game →

You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge. You're listening to dad's with Swag, where your coach Shawn has the tools to help you navigate some of life's ups and downs. Let's do it. Whether you're trying to balance work in life, going through a difficult time in marriage or trying to manifest that perfect mate, Shawn can get you from where you are to where you want to be. Loving husband and dadded two amazing girls. Your coach Shunk can help you Trin your dreams into goals and make them a reality. No more faking change. Is kind of start making change with the swaggy's out of them all. Your coach Sean. This week we're going a little deep talking about the blame game. Who Do you blame for all this shit that goes wrong in your life? Who Do you blame? Do you blame your parents? If you blame your wife, your husband, your ex wife, your ex Hasband, some boy or girl to broke your heart in high school? Your boss because he won't give you a promotion? Your kids crying, keeping you up all night? Who Do you blame? Like we have so much energy that we devote to blaming people for Shit. So today's show, I'm going to challenge you, throughout this whole episode to stop blaming people for the things they did to fuck your life up and start blaming them for making you the amazing person you are today. Ah, that sounds crazy. On it, like Sean, you don'et, you don't lost your mind. What do you mean? How am I going to blame my absentee dad for making my life great? How am I going to blame my crackhead mom for making my life great? How am I going to blame my jerk of a boss for making my life great? He's making it miserable. We're going to get to it, we're going to work through it, we're going to get you to that point. We're going to call people up and you're going to thank them and blame them for making you the amazing person you are today, because we're all screwed up. That's the truth of the matter. The truth of the matter is, I don't care how much money you have, how much fame you have, or how unfamous you are or how broke you are. You got problems and you have stress in your life, you have challenges that pop up unexpectedly and it's all about how you handle that stuff. How do you handle it? Do you let it like ruin you're in higher day? Do you let it ruin your week, your month, your year, your lifetime? How do you handle it? What do you do? You know? Or you the type of person that says, man, I didn't get that promotion, so I'm going to work a little bit harder and instead of blaming my boss for not giving me the promotion that I thought I was entitled to, I'm gonna Bust my butt, I'm gonna work twice as hard. I'm approved my boss and to myself and to the person that got that job and everybody else in the office that my boss made a mistake and should have hired me. Number work so hard and I'm going to prove so much stuff that next time there's a promotion, there's not even going to be a question on who should get that promotion. Maybe you still don't get the promotion, maybe it is political, maybe the boss does like other people more and they like you. Maybe you a jerk and that's why they didn't like you. But you didn't lose nothing by busting your butt. You probably realized your true potential. You probably achieved more than you've ever achieved before. You probably learned some new skills. You know, if you in sales, you probably got better sales numbers. To make all that stuff and go get another job at a company that's going to respect you and support you, because now you got a great skill set. You can be like, look, I crushed it for two years, look what I did. So, instead of sitting there at your desk blaming your boss for not giving you that job, blaming blame him for giving you the opportunity to be a better version of yourself, blame him for giving that fire in your butt to make you want to go out there and kick some ass. You know you are who you are for the...

Shit you've gone through in the past, both good and bad. Right, both good and bad stuff made you the person that you are today. So you have to be thankful for that. You have to be thankful that, yeah, there's some bad stuff that happened to me when I was a kid, or there's some bad stuff that happened to me in my first marriage, or there's some bad stuff that happened to me, you know, when I retired. But all that stuff is part of God's plan, as crazy as it may sound, as crazy as it may be, it's all part of God's plan and his plan is to make you into the person that he wants you to end up becoming and accomplishing of the things that he wants you to end up accomplishing. Now, can you accomplish those same things if that situation at that certain point of your time didn't happen? No, probably not. He's probably going to make sure that that happens at some point because it's part of your story, is part of what's going to light that fire in your butt to get you to do the things that he wants you to do. You know, a lot of times we blame our parents. Right, it's always our parents, and we blame our parents for all these things that they do and that they don't do. But do you realize that our parents are just playing the role of our parents? They're just being our parents. Bob Is just being Bob, Jane is just being Jane, and all the Shit that they went through in their life that a you probably don't even know about because they brushed under the rug, they got it buried so deep you don't even know about it. That formed them into the people that they are today. Their parents, the shit they went through formed them. So their parents created your parents and your parents created you, and all of those things that we think are horrible, they're just them. So we need to stop blaming them, we need to start saluting them and thanking them, because without all of that crap, you would not be who you are today. Think about it, think about like the four or five ten things in your life that were like man, this sucked. You know, this is just horrible. You know, I was twelve years old and, you know, my uncle was smoking crack rock and I saw it and we lived in the ghetto and I hated the ghetto and I didn't feel safe at school. Well, do you think that if you didn't live in the ghetto, you would still work so hard to make sure that you always lived in a nice apartment or had a nice house and a good area? Probably not right, because if you lived in this comfortable neighborhood and its comfortable environment, you'd probably be like as pretty cool. Now, it's pretty comfortable. I wouldn't mind living like this for the rest of my life. But instead you got a fire under your ass to achieve greatness because you didn't want to be stuck where you were. You didn't like the ghetto. You wanted to get out of the ghetto. You know, maybe you saw so many people smoke crack rock that you decided not to smoke crack rock. Or maybe you chose to. Maybe you chose to smoke crack rock and sell. Then you went to jail and then you realize, man, this ain't the life for me. When I get out of jail, there's going to be no more crack rock for me. Right. And then you meet a young twelve year old on the street one day and he's still living in the ghetto, the same ghetto you're living in, because you don't have the courage to get out the ghetto. You sit that young man down. He say, young man, make me a promise. You going to get out of this ghetto and you're not going to smoke crack rock. And maybe that kid goes on to become president. Maybe that kid goes on to cure cancer. Maybe that kid goes on to like, jump in front of a bus from a pregnant woman and saves a mother and an unborn child. We don't know. We don't know what God's plan is, but I'll tell you what there's a reason why you're and our uncle smoked crack...

...rock in front of you in the ghetto. There's a reason that you sold crack rock, there's a reason that you went to jail and there's a reason that you talk to that other kid. There's a plan. There's a plan for everything, and we got to stop playing this blame game. I'm break it down for you. I'm going to get you by the end of this episode, by the end of the show, we're not going to be blaming people no more, and if we want to blame something, we're going to blame our else this just this ain't in my notes, but this remind me of a great quote. When you point the finger at somebody, you pointing three fingers back at yourself. Remember that. That's crazy, right. You like didn't make sense then make sense when I heard first heard that quote. But you point one finger at somebody, pointing three back at yourself. So, if you got anybody to blame why you didn't get out of the ghetto or why you smoke crack rock, blame yourself. Not Your parents, not your boss, not your job, not your neighborhood, none of that. There's a lot of people that grew up in the ghetto, didn't smoke crack rock. You chose to right. So we're gonna get you guys all out of this blame game. You want to chime and hit us up on social media at your coach on you could email me Sean shot off on SOCOM. But to the name of today's show is the blame game. So I came up with some songs. Not all of them have to do a blame, but a lot of them got through a blame. So my first song coming from my boy Jamie Fox. WE'RE gonna blame it on alcohol. Blame its usually I don't know. She don't see you like she's Ez. I hate saying what you wanna, but you know, we're probably gonna do what you can. Being and deep and what you drinking, don't let sink for the weekend. Thinking we can be press another cup feeling on your but but you don't even care. I alcohol drink on me. No, I'm not. She takes you, put a body on me and she keeps there, me right in. No telling what I'M gonna do. Maybe I've rather show you what your lie. I get inst you drinking. Gonna let us sink here for the weekend. Think we rest feel another Cup fucking them on your butt, but you don't even care. Just like you look, the couple open up like a book. Ain't dripping Marie dust, ain't dripping pleaser. I'm take shout out your boat. Didn't you know? We can go kick it like you don't know what I meant to. Got Drunk, thought it all was a dream, so I made us say got a hand. No, believe that, my feet in and Myrondat. Then my pants got figure. She already knew what the looking at a board's feeling. Now back to dad's...

...with swag with your host shown up on some welcome back to dad's with swag. Check it out on I tunes and please subscribe, rate and review the show. We need all the love we can get. You can find all our past episodes on Dad's with swagcom. Follow us on social media at your coach, Shawn, and if you have any questions or show ideas or you want to come on the show, email me at Sean at Sean alfonsocom. I love to get back to charity. Sometimes I find it hard to just cut a big check. I get so busy with the wife and kids. I'm more of a set it and forget it kind of guy. That's why I love the Angel Club. I can pick the amount I want taking out of my checking account every month. I never see the money, so I never miss the money and I could always feel good knowing I'm giving back every month. If you want to join the Angel Club, just go to Pierce Family Foundationcom. The blame game, all right, so some tips on how to do it? All right, how to get out of the blame game, how to stop blaming these people for the perceived negativity that they brought into your life? Right, it's just perception. You're just taking it that way. Like I told you, they're playing a part, they're doing them they're living life the only way they know how to live life. Right there, there wasn't. We didn't get a manual when we came into this world. We got two parents that didn't know what the hell they we're doing right, so to they raised people who now don't know what they're doing. We're all just flying by the seat of our pants here. People we respect our parents, would love our parents. We look up to our parents. Right, we assume that our parents know everything. We assume that our parents are doing everything they're doing because that's what they know how to do. That's no, that's that as far as from the truth. Now there's a couple things that they probably learned from books and reading, but now that's somebody else telling them to do it one way. Like I wrote a book on how to Potty train kids. Don't buy it. It's it works great, but it's I don't know it. Don't go out. I'll give it to you for free. Email me, I'll send you a free digital copy on how four easy steps to potty training your kid in three days. It's a good it's a good book, but don't pay money for it. I'll give it to you for free just for being a loyal listener. Yeah, I could be my first sponsorship. But so people can read, read my book right and then there and be like, Oh, this is the best way to partty train kids, but then they can read another book and somebody else can teach them completely different way to potty train a kid. So we're flying by the seat of our pants people. You got to remember that. As much as you love your parents and your respect your parents, they're flying by the seat of their pants. I bet you if anybody went back to their parents or their bosses, may maybe not. Your boss is maybe your boss, like I said, doesn't like you because you're an asshole. But if you go back to your parents or grand parents or your answer your uncle's and you sit him down and you'll be like, when I was nine years old, you did this to me, and now I'm forty and it's still impacts my life. Ay, they're probably not going to remember it. They're like, I did what my bad to if they do remember it and you ask them why they did it, they're probably not going to know right. They're probably just going to say I was doing the best I can. I didn't know. I...

...didn't know that by packing you a school lunch, you were going to get your ass kicked on the playground and you've been holding that against me for the last twenty five years, thirty years. I didn't know because when I was a little kid I always had to buy my lunch every day because we are so poor. I got free lunch at the school. So I thought I was doing you a favor by Pitt packing you a home lunch from my heart every single day. I didn't know you were getting beat up every day because you were the only kid brown bag in it. I didn't know that you felt less than because you were the only kid bringing a brown paper bag lunch to your fancy school where everybody else was was buying food from the food cart or whatever, and you're still carrying that stuff around, right. You still blaming your parents for that. But what happens if your parents were to say man, that was like a moment where I thought I was doing amazing parenting, like that was some of the best parenting I was doing, and I screwed you up. So this is what we're going to do. You will make a list, make a list of all the things that messed you up in your life. Right, my parents smoked, my parents drank, my parents did drugs, my dad worth too much. My mom didn't work enough, so when they got divorced, we were broke and I was ashamed to have a mom that couldn't pick herself up and she became an alcoholic or you know, whatever it is, whatever the things are. I was molested as a child, I was beat I was you know, any of these things, whatever it was, write it down, make a list, and then I want you to make another list I want you to write a list right next to it, a list of all the amazing attributes that make who you are today. What are the things that define you as a person today? Is it unstoppable drive? Is it child advocacy? Is it helping others? Is that a caring heart? Is it financial success? Is it an amazing marriage? Is it good parent? Maybe not the best parent, but you're trying to be as educated as you can on this situation and your number one fact that you know in your head as a good parent is that you're going to screw a lot of stuff up, but you know that. But you're like, Hey, I learned, I boned myself up. I'm trying to be the best that I could be, but I'm willing to take responsibility if I do mess my kids up. You know, maybe you're good with finances. Maybe your parents car always broke down so you'd always have to take the bus, so now you're like one of the best autom mechanics in the world. Or maybe you just go buy yourself like Alexis or a Toyota or a Nissan or an infinity and then never breaks down so you ain't got to worry about it. Looking for sponsors. See, I got to drop a little sponsor heads every now and then. But make these two lists. Make these lists about the things that fucked you up and the things that make you amazing today, because there are things that make you amazing today. And if you say man Shawn, there's nothing that makes me amazing today. I'm just a loser. Well then, I got some tips for you later on. For Super Losers, super super blamers. Will call you guys, super blamers, you know, but so like. Here's a great example. My Mom and Dad. My Mom, my biological dad, got divorce when I was itty bitty baby. Right then I had a step dad. He's a jackass. So basically I had no good father role model in my life. Hence, instead of waste my whole life blaming my dad, who won around, for him and my mom getting divorced right, or blaming my Stepdad for being a jackass, because I could easily do that. I could easily to this day, I could easily sit there and blame them for everything that's ever gone wrong in my life. But instead I choose to blame them for everything that's gone right in my life because, you know what, I might not be the best dad in my in the whole world, but I bust my ass at being a dad. I bust my ass if somebody says, Hey, Sean, I read this good book on parenting, Damn Straight, I'm read that book. Someone's like, Hey, check out this blog. Hey Sean, check out you know, check this out, which is hard and that's why I created this show, because there are no radio show. It's hard to find a radio show that's a dude talking about dude stuff. That's a guy talking about dad's that's a guy that's going to sit here and talk about puberty.

It's hard to find us. We had to create it. But I can guarantee you right now that I make mistakes because my kids one day, probably twenty years from now, they're going to be sitting in the Therapist Office going my dad came to every school event. There would be no other parents there, but my dad was there and oh he just embarrassed me and smothered me and I don't know how I ever survived. Could Be, you know, but I didn't want I'm not missing a minute. I would rather my kids be disappointed that I saw too much shit then then be disappointed that I didn't see nothing, but I'm going to screw them up. Neither one of my daughters is probably going to get married, because how are they going to find another dude that's as amazing as me? Yeah, and going to happen. Ah, I'm messing up the dating pool for him now. But but on the real I'm trying my best right to be a great dad. So I don't blame them for being them, for doing them. Now I thank them. Thank you for making me the man I am today. Well, how to make it a man out you are today. I wasn't around exactly, because if you were around all the time and you were at every baseball game and every soccer game, in every basketball game and every Christmas and every this and every that, then I wouldn't be the Guy I am today. I'd to be different. There'd be something amazing about me that would be different. I don't know what it is and I don't want to know because I like who I am. You know, I got a mom that did a lot of drugs. I got answer and uncles I did all kinds of drugs. You name it, weed, crack, coke, heroin, you if day's a drug out there, there's somebody in my family that's done it. And when new drug, you know how, like you're wondering, man like, how did this new drug get invented? Like who would have thoughts like make crystal Meth, like with bleaching ammonia and whatever else, like Clara Tin or whatever, that allergy pill that I need to get sometimes, suito fed. That's what it is. You crackheads. Piss me off, though I will tell you that I'm I'm not blaming you for this, but I'm expressing my dislike toward you when I go to the pharmacy to get my suit of fed, because sometimes my allergies flare up so bad that Clareton don't work. Did I got to show them like twelve forms of ID, like this is ridiculous, man. I'm buying a box of pills. You see the snot running out of my nose right and you see that I need this. But now I got to give you ID I got a sign on this pad. I gotta go all the way back to the pharmacy and I can't pay for it with the rest of my groceries. I got to pay for it then and there, and then I got to hold that bag around as I go by my rest of my girl, then you guys messed up my world. But if you're ever wondered how did somebody come up with that, like how who was in their kitchen mixing bleaching, ammonia and suit of fed, it was probably a member of my family, because they probably needed to get higher, drunk or something, and they didn't have nothing in the house. So they're just like shit, use what you got, you know, use what you got. It's kind of like grandma to make dinner sometimes broke as hell. I ain't no food in the pantry. Use what you got, I we haven't spaghettios and mustard. WHOO. You know, I'm a is joking, but yeah, you know that happens. It's like well, we got some chicken. I've done it. I didn't have time to go to the grocery store. I'm like shoot, all right, I got some chicken, I got some green beans, I got some bread crumbs, I got some lemon. All right, cool, like breaded lemon chicken coming up. You just use what you got, right. So that's how those new drugs get invented. Someone from my family uses what they got and the boom pandemic but anyways, but check it out. I'm forty two years old. I have never smoked a joint in my life. Never puffed, never the not inhaled, never one drug. Never done crack, never done coke, never done nothing like. I've taken like a couple of Asspirin, even like like Viking in, or the pain I don't even know what they're called, but the pain pills that people give you, like you know when you get surgery. I remember I had my appendix exploded and I had to be on these like pain pills. When I got home I took like maybe for the first day, maybe day too, but it makes you loopy, man. I don't like that feeling and I don't want to get hooked right because everybody in my family's hooked on drugs. What's the number one way to not get hooked on drugs? Don't do them. Hey, I can't be a crackhead if I've never tried crack, but if I tried cracked, there's a good chance I'm going to be a crackhead because everything I try I get addicted to. I like it, you know, if it sticks with me, I'm like boom,...

I'm all in. It could be anything. It could be like Pokemon, go to the Sopranos, like Netflix and me it's like not a good mix, man, because, like me and future wife, he like will get like hooked on a new show and it's like the girls are at their mom's house at weekend. Bet It ain't none but Vanencias, pizza, a twelve pack of beer and like dude, we ain't leaving his couch. It's crazy. I get hooked on things, but I've never done a drug in my life. Why do I blame my family members? My Mom's, my aunts, my uncle's, all my support system, I tribe growing up. Do I blame them for being drug addicts? No, I thank them for keeping me away from drugs, not that they ever told me. Sean don't do drugs. Should I got uncle's that offered me drugs. I got all. I got uncles that are like hey, if you go down here and get me this, you can have a little something, something not school. I'll go get it for you, but I don't need none of that. I might get myself to Tuts. Your roles in a blowpop. Thanks, but that's what keeps me to where I am today. I don't blame them, I think. Then you know, I drink responsibly. I'll probably have like the most three drinks in a night. My typical night, like a if I go out to dinner, I'll probably have a cocktail, maybe too, you know. Maybe I'll go like if I'll go watch a football game with somebody's I'll have a beer, maybe too, but like a good night, like a Whoo, whoo, whoop, whoop, party night. Threes the Max. And I'm still taking an UBER ON WHY? Because my family. Alcoholics runs in a family and gonna let it happen to me. So I think them, I don't blame them. This next Song, Little Kelly Clarkson, it's not really a blame song, but it's kind of a blame song. I want to try to find things that started with blame, but this starts with because of you, so it's kind of like blame. So check it out, Kelly Clarkson, because of you to do my heart so much reser, you feel so hard. I say side because it's not too long for you, because every heart, because because now back to dad's with...

...swag, with your host. Shut up on some welcome back to dad's with swag. Check us out on itunes and please subscribe, rate and review the show. We need all the love we can get. You can find all our past episodes on Dad's with swagcom. Follow us on social media at your coach, Shawn, and if you have any questions or show ideas or you want to come on the show, email me at Sewan at Sewan alfonsocom. With my busy schedule, we're always looking for healthy snacks. Our go to snacks are our xbar kids. They're the same high quality taste wife and I enjoy, but in a size and flavors kids love, still made with real ingredients and a label. I can read enough about what's in our Xbar kids. Let's talk about what's not in them. No sugars, gluten, soy or dairy. With Bell's crazy dance company schedule, I always make sure she has her favorite apple cinnamon raising our xbar kids and her dance bag. And for AVA, Barry blast is her go to snack for acting class, especially when she always brings that yummy chocolate chip to school. Find them at target or go to our xbarcom forward slash swag and get your twenty five percent off that first order once again. That's our xbarcom forward swag and get twenty five percent off your first order. Yo, Fellas, did you know sixty percent of men start losing their hair by the age of thirty five? It's also way easier to keep the hair you have then it is to regrow hair. Lucky for you, I have a swagged out, VIP, private entrance type solution. It's called for hymnscom, a onestop shop for hair loss and sexual wellness for men. Look, with kids, work and that honey do list, who has time to hit up the doctor and get help with hair loss? What if I told you I can hook you up with the way you can get a prescription for hair loss and sexual wellness from the comfort of your own home. And I'm not talking some quote unquote supplement you pick up the gas station or on late night TV. I'm talking real prescription medicine that has a proven track record. All you have to do is fill out a few questions and send in a couple picks of your scout. Then a real doctor will look over your Info and prescribe your medication. That will ship discreetly to you from for hymns, and I got the hook up for you. Order now my listeners get a trial month of hymns for just five dollars right now, while supplies last. See Website for details. This would cost hundreds if you went to a doctor or pharmacy. Go to for hymnscom swag. That's for Hymnscom I'm swag, four hi mscom swag for him's swag. The blame game, all right, Sean. So I wrote down my list of all the things that people did to mess me up. I wrote down my list of all the amazing things that I am today, all the great qualities I have. Now do I do? What do I do to get past this shit? What do I do? How do I move forward? Well, there's a couple things you can do. All right, of course, I'm going to ladies out for you right one. You can call it a person up. Call Them Up, call them up and thank them. Say thanks for making me the person I am today, because if you weren't a drug addict, I wouldn't be amazing. Thank you for making me the person I am today, because if you weren't an absentee dad, I wouldn't be amazing.

Thank you for making me the person you are today, because if you didn't beat me as a child, I wouldn't be an amazing foster parent. So call them up and thank them. That's what and I will freak them out. First of all, they're probably going to cry, so just be prepared for that. There's going to be emotions because you've been resenting them and blaming them for so long. Now that you're flipping the script, Oh man, it's going to freak them out there. Don't be like Woo, was you listening to some Woo Woo Shit was going on? Did you go to church? That might be the first question. Did you go to church? You get some Jesus in you now. I was listening to Dads with swag man and he told me don't blame people. So thank them, thank them for making you the person you are, right, because without those experiences you wouldn't be you. And, if you feel like getting a little bit deeper, ask them questions. What were the things in their lives that made them the person that they are? What were some of their blames? What are some of the shit that they're carrying around? What are some of these things that they're holding on to that made them the type of person that they were? To do the things that they did to you to make you the type of person that you are. Talk to him. It's going to be uncomfortable, but that's okay. It's going to be scary, but that's okay too. If you need somebody to just give you a little hey, do it little accountability to hit me up. I'll hold you accountable. I'll make sure that you make that call seven o'clock at night. I'll follow up with you at eight o'clock at night see how it went. Hit me up actually, but it would have to be like eight o'clock at night and eight thirty or nine o'clock at night, because the girl has got to go to bed and stuff. So from seven to eight at night early, and my life is hectic. So if that Tom Frame wouldn't work out. But after that I'm free. Freers Bird. Hit me up at you were coach on. I'd love to help you, Sean. I'm not calling them that Jackass. He's just going to yell at me, he's not going to understand, or maybe the person's dead. Right, write a letter. Write a letter. You don't even have to send the letter, but just write the letter thanking that person for making you the person you are today because without yelling at you as a kid, without not showing up to your games as a kid, without having a job when you as a kid, making you eat government cheese, you know, and it's funny, because you knew to the kids that came to school with the government cheese sandwiches, because that cheese was cut thick as hell. It's hard to cut a thin slice of cheese out of a ten pound block. Write that letter, say thank you. I don't want to write a letter, Shawn. I'm too lazy to write a letter. All right, if you got it like that, then every morning when you wake up and every night before you go and before you go to bed, right like when you're brushing your teeth, you should be brushing your teeth at least twice a day. If you're not, you got other problems. We'll talk about those in a different out we'll brion a dentist or something. I want you to look yourself in the mirror and I want you to say, if it wasn't for this, I wouldn't be this. If it wasn't for my non existent father role model, I wouldn't be an amazing dad. If it wasn't for my alcoholic mother. I wouldn't be sober if it wasn't for me getting the crap beat out of me by my parents. I wouldn't be a parent that doesn't hit my kids, or if I do hit my kids, I recognize it as a negative thing and I'm trying to get some help to work on it because I know what it was like. Whatever it is, say it's yourself in the mirror, and you ain't even got to say it out loud. Right. I know you're going to be like, I'm not saying that stuff. Man, my girls won't think I'm weird. Say It's yourself in the head, but look yourself in the eyes. Get it into your soul. Don't just say it, feel it, experience it, you know. But then you're like, well, what if, Shawn, my life ain't even amazing. Like they messed my life up and my life still messed up. And you know, my parents hit me, so I hit my kids. And you know, my parents was broken. I'm still broken.

My parents did crack, so I do crack, and man, it's all their fault everything. I have no job, I have no life, I have no teeth, I have no clothes, my shoes don't fit, I got no socks. It's all my parents fault, because that's what they did. Then I want you to do this. Want you to get up. I want you to find the closest homeless shelter and, if you're living in a homeless shelter, I want you to find the closest veterans home and I want you to volunteer. I want you to help him out. Take that little step, take that little step of starting to give back, because then and only then, will you realize that you have something that somebody else doesn't. You know, if you, if you live in in a place with the roof over your head and you go to a homeless shelter and you experience life with people who don't have a roof over their head, now you have something to thank those people for. Now you have something to thank your mom and dad for. Hey, I might not have shit, but at least I got a roof over my head. Thank you for screwing me up so much, but at least I know to always keep a roof over my head. Or at least you screwed me up so much. But I don't have PTSD, or I have all my limbs or I've never had to shoot somebody who I didn't know or I didn't have beef with. I didn't have to kill a perfect stranger and a child and a mother. Now you have stuff to be thankful for. Everybody, everybody, I don't care who you are. You got it better than somebody else because you don't won the lottery just by being born in America. Right you won the lottery right there. You, if you have a refrigerator in your house, just a refrigerator empty, no food in it, but a refrigerator in your house, you automatically have it better than thirty percent of the people in the entire world just because you have a fridge. Now, if you have food in that fridge, dude, then it jumps up to like fifty percent, like it's crazy. So just by you having a fridge in your house, you have it better than I I think it's even more than thirty percent of the world. You Know Jim harbaughd at x, Great Forty niner coach. He says it best. You know him his parents, his dad was a football coach, and didn't you know, they moved around a lot and didn't have much money and one time their mom had taken a card. Only had one card out of share at the Moma and taking the car. So to hardball. Children in the hardball Daddie had to walk to school and they would walk to school in the snow or the rain or whatever it was, you know, all the time, and they'd be walking to School Hella cold and a daddy would just say who's got it better than us? And then all the kids would say nobody, you know, because they already knew they had it like that. They already got it good. We got three hots in a cot. We got it better than ninety percent of the people in the world. So I don't care how invaluable you think your life is right now and how you cannot think anybody for anything, you can go find those people that are less fortunate than you. And then I had to come up with another blame song. Right, we bout to finish the show up. Got To come up with another blame song and I couldn't think of one right and I'm like racking my brain, thinking, thinking, and then it dawned on me. The most famous lip sinkers of all time, my homies millie and vanilly. I don't know which one's millie, I don't know which one's vanilly. They both got dreads and they both lip singers. Right, Millie Vanilli, blame it on the rain. I see. You didn't need her. You told her you sad to satisfire. Now you wish that you should have her and you feel...

...like Sucho. You let her go away and we just don't feel it. On something by what you can babe it on the Rad told her you were sorry. Could said you were wrong, but no, you couldn't do that. To prove you a strong might still be there with you. You want her back. Don't blame it on the rain. Whatever you do, don't put the rain. Don't care. You've got the blame night. Whatever you do, don't put the late. Blame the rain. Now back to dad's with swag with your host, Shawn up on some welcome back to dad's with swag. Check us out on itunes and please subscribe, rate and review the show. We need all the love we can get. You can find all our past episodes on Dad's with swagcom. Follow us on social media at your coach, Shawn, and if you have any questions or show ideas or you want to come on the show, email me at Sean at Sean alfonsocom. Are you a dad that has no idea where to get the perfect birthday give up to that last minute birthday party your kid just told you about? Wife he's on a girl's trip and you need to find swaggy things to do with the kids. Make sure you go to the one stop shop made for Dad's by DAD'S A Z, dad'scom. So the blame game. I think we wrapped it up. Stop blaming other people. Thank them for making you the amazing person you are today. And if you don't think you're amazing, go do something for someone who has less than you, and that will truly show you how amazing you got it, because you do. There is something magical about you. Every single person on this planet has something inside them that is truly amazing, and it's amazing because of the shit they went through, no doubt about it. So just think about that when you want to go blame your mom or your dad for messing up your life or blame your boss for not giving you that promotion. Think about all the amazing things that can come...

...out of it. We out. Thanks for listening to DAD's sweat. Check out new episodes every Thursday, or go to dad's for swagcom download test that serves.

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