Sounder SIGN UP FOR FREE
Dads With Swag
Dads With Swag

Episode · 4 years ago

This can SAVE your relationship

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

This episode of Dads with swag Sean talks all things you need to know for saving your relationship.    Make sure you subscribe rate and review our show    

You are now about to witness the strength of street knowledge. You're listening to dad's with Swag, where your coach Shawn has the tools to help you navigate some of life's ups and downs. Let's do it. Whether you're trying to balance work in life, going through a difficult time in marriage or trying to manifest that perfect mate, Shawn can get you from where you are to where you want to be, loving husband and dad in two amazing girls. Your coach Shunk can help you Trin your dreams into goals and make them a reality. No more faking change. Is kind of start making change with the swaggy's out of them all. Your coach Sean, what is welcome back to another episode of Dad's with Swag coming at you live from the swaggy studios. Of all the DADS, would swag studios get out US on social media at your coach Sean. Download this episode and all of our episodes that itunes. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, review the show show us some love. You can go to dad's with swagcom check out all of our other episodes. We got a whole bunch of stuff out there for you. We're coming at you from this new studio. We got new episodes every Thursday. Subscribe. They'll automatically drop to your playlist. Hit US up. But today a show man, today's show. I was talking to a buddy of mine and he was talking about some relationship troubles, some some relationship woes right, and I've noticed that, man, a lot of my clients this is like the theme of the day, right, it's like January and February, we're all about trying to find relationships. Well, apparently a lot of people who are in relationships shit didn't go well for Valentine's Day or something like. People were disappointed. I don't know. I don't know what's going on there, but I've been getting a lot of hit ups with relationship wos. Right, people like Yo to man, like it's not going good. You know, this is what's up. So I decided today to do my show on, you know, relationships. So this information you about to get can save your relationship. So we just going to jump into it, man. We will start out with serve your spouse right. You have to outserve your spouse. Don't do this stuff for you, don't do this stuff for them, right, just do it like and don't keep a scoreboard, don't keep a checklist, don't be like, well, I emptied the trash twelve times, how come she's still bitching at me? Right, it doesn't work that way. I want you to empty the trash twelve times because I want you to make your wife, or your baby mama or your girlfriend or your boot thing or whatever you got, I want you to make her happy right, and you know, by you taking the trash without being asked or told right, that that's going to make her happy. So do it. You know, if you know that it could possibly make her happy by you making a meal and having her come home to a nice home cooked meal, then do it right, because here's what's going to happen right, here's what's going to happen. You're going to start out serving your spouse right and you're going to be like, all right, cool, I'm gonna Start taking out the trash, I'm gonna start throwing laundry, you know, in the washing machine. Now be careful with this one, dudes. If you aren't good with the laundry, don't mess her clothes up, because that will throw it a whole plan out the window. So maybe drop her dry cleaning off or something like that. You know what I'm saying. If you're not good with the laundry, because I've been known to mess up a load or too. So that's not like an all. In my house it's clearly defined. Don't touch my laundry right because I just like it don't matter if it's white clothes or color clothes. I do loads at a time. If it's white colors, don't matter, it's going in the Washer and then it's going in I'm dryer. I don't like if I buy something that's do not dry and I dry it and sun get it gets thrown away because I ain't got time to be separating and reading tags. And then I'm getting old. I'M gonna have to get them reading glasses soon. Not to get those just to like check out laundry. Not Going to happen. I just throw it in. So I've been told not to do laundry at all like that. That's a law in the house. But what are some things you can do to make your spouse's happy or your significant other happy? Do it right out. Serve them, because what's going to happen is they're going to catch on and they're going to be like, man, what's gotten into him lately? He's really been doing all kinds of these things that have made me feel really good. I should probably do something to make him feel special. Right. And then she's going to start doing things to outserve you and before you know what, you're going to get caught up in this vortex, right, this vortex of serving, this this tornado of out serving...

...each other, right to where you're going to be trying to come up with more clever ways to outserve her and you're going to notice that she's been doing a lot more to hook you up and outserve you. So she's going to try to come up with some more clever ways and it's going to be this marrow go around, right, of more clever ways and more clever ways. What can I do to make their day better, to make their day easier, to make their day brighter? Right, and you're not doing it for any other reason but to make that person happy. You cannot go into it with the intent of getting something back, because then you're going to be disappointed if you don't get something back. Right, you can't go into it with the intent of being able to keep a checklist, right. So then in a month you're like, man, I ain't got no special tensions. In a month and I've taken the trash out twelve times, did four loads of laundry, cooked eight times and scratched it back to your fellas leap four times, but still I ain't getting none. That doesn't work that way. You have to do it because somebody you love, you want to make feel Nice, you want to make smile, you want to make be happy. outserve your spouse, man, out serve your partner, out serve your girlfriend. It's kind of like when you start dating somebody, right, you're all about like, Oh, you're sick, let me bring you some chicken soup, right, because you want to be that dude. You want to be that dude. It's like, Oh, I'll just come through, I don't even trying to have sex with you, I'm just going to bring you some chicken soup. What, and how come, when you married fifteen years, you ain't bring in chicken soup no more. Right, because you you stop serving your spouse, you started serving the relationship, you started serving the family, you started serving the job, the responsibilities, all that stuff. That's all the stuff your attentions going to. You need to bring it back home. Start serving your spouse, your partner, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, whatever it may be. You know, start, start doing that. The other thing that's really important, and man, I sh this is probably something that I struggle with the most. And I knew after I got divorced. I knew that my next partner in life I would have struggles with this. I knew it because I love my babies. I still love my babies so much, right, mad, crazy love, and I would do anything and everything for them. Right, and they're they're my world. And then I met future wife, e right, and now she's my world and she's my everything. Well, how do I put her first? Right? How do I put her before my kids? Because in the Bible it says you got to put God first, then your spouse second, right, and the family and the kids and the friends and the acquaintances in the jobs and all that shit comes last. But I knew that, man, I m have struggle doing. Anybody that knows me probably would be able to say, yeah, there was one thing Sean was going to struggle it. It's going to be that. So something's really important as man, when you get home from work, you have to kiss your wife or your spouse, your husband, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. You got to kiss them first, straight away. None of this hug side Hug, kiss on the cheek. You have to show affection. You have to kiss your spouse. You have to you know, kind of like back to the dating thing when you all started dating. At first you could probably make out for hours and now you can't even get a little something, something, kiss hello when you get home from work or when you walk in the door from walking the dog, like whatever it is. And I try to do this all the time, right, like I try to constantly kiss future Wifei first try to constantly do it, but sometimes I'll mess up. Sometimes I'll kiss the girls first. Sometimes the girls will be like right in front of me and I'll you know, and I should walk right past them kiss, kiss Meggia and then go back to the girls. But sometimes I mess up. You know, I'm not perfect, but I'm trying right and I know she can see a well, at least he's trying. But that's an important thing, man. Let the kids know that your husband, your wife day the most important thing in your life. Right. And if you guys are like still living at home or like living with parents or something like that. Like before you hug and kiss your mom and Dad, go kiss your man, go kiss your woman and then go back tell pops us up, give mom a big kiss and hug. That's important because that's going to let that person know that they're the most important thing in the house, right. They come first. Everything you can do. This is important, and this is like, this is like new age shit right here. This is the new this is the new problems that I'm here in constantly.

Right, I guess some people that come to my office and I coach him up, and the thing I get constantly is like, well, he comes into the House and he's on his phone. I haven't seen him all day and he comes in his house and he's on his phone, right, and he just doesn't put it away and I'm standing around and he's on his phone talking for another ten or fifteen minutes, right. Or I get dudes like, you know, she comes home from the gym, she's on her phone talking to her girlfriends. I haven't seen her all day and she's just talking to her girlfriends. are talking to her sister or talking to it. You know, her mom or you know, whoever it may be. She's just, you know, won't get off the phone. She's always texting. So the first thing you got to do is before you walk in the House. You know most people today we park in a garage. Come to the garage door. Right before you come through that garage door, before you come to that front door, make sure you're off the phone. Put that phone in your pocket. Put that phone in your purse. Let Your family know, let your boyfriend know, let your girlfriend know. That is our time now. I might have to I might have to call that person back in fifteen or twenty minutes. But you know what, I'm going to give you this fifteen minutes of undivided attention right here, right now. And the flip side, if you're the one at home right and the other person's coming home, sometimes it would be really nice if you were to say, Hey, could I call you right back? Wife, he just got home. I'M gonna call you back in fifteen. That's where I mess up a lot too, because sometimes, like I'm in the phone, like a phone call at the client or a phone call with somebody, and I should be in my office. So, because when I'm in my office. Then it's known, like you know I'm doing business. But sometimes, if nobody's home, I like to walk around while I'm on the phone. Right. I'm a firm believer in motion creates emotion, so I'll walk around the House and some times people will come in, so I have to like skirt to my office real quick. But sometimes, if it's not a client or something, I'm talking to my brother, I need to be like Hey, let me call you back in fifteen minutes. You know, the girls just got home, wife, he just walked in the door. Let me hit you back. That's important because that's letting the person that comes home, that's the first thing you're showing them is, I've been waiting for you all day, I'm so happy to see you. Right. So they're not on the phone, you're not on the phone and you meet with a kiss. Just those little steps is gonna like elevate the relationship tenfold. And we got more tet. We got more tet, we got forty five minutes of more tips coming at you. You can get a pain in a paper if you want, or you can just read. Listen, it is downloaded it. You know, dads with swagcom hit us up on itunes and hit that subscribe button. You can get this episode for probably the next twenty years. So even if you're hearing it now and you're like, man, what did Sean say? That was some man, I remember he said something so good. Just Ay and ten years download it. You can get it. We still going to be here new episodes all the time, every week, Thursdays and one Sean alfonsocom at your coach, Shan Shan at Shan Alfonsocom if you guys want to chime in on this at all, if you got any questions about relationships, you having some problems with relationships, hit us up, man, right now. We going to hear a little usher. My Boo. There's always that one that we always have your heart. You never see blinded from the start. That shore that one for me, clear for everyone to see. You gotta Rock Weight About Y'all, but I know about. It's the only way we know how to rite. Now know about y'all, but I know about. It's the only way we know how to write. You Remember, girl was the one who gave you your first kiss. As I remember, girl was the one who sit with your lips like this, even be all the many people screaming your name. I was dead and you are my baby. Started when we know ways to pe. Know why, but you will always we. My...

...life is that we can't only think about your lives. Yes, I have a boy the moment. I know you aren't wanna cuspand my life with even people you are my boo, started when we were young. It's the only way we know how to run. Now back to dad's with swag. It's your host, Shawnafs. Let's do it. Hit US up at your coach, Shan Shan, Shan alfonsocom. You can find all our episodes on Dad's with swagcom. Sean alfonsocom. Got All kinds Ofcom's, man, applecom, itunescom subscribe buttons, Hashtags. We got it all. Today we talked about relationships, man, we talking about keeping a relationship going, keeping it thrive and keeping a strong, keeping it, keeping on right, because this is important, man, because what's going to basically happen is if you don't give attention to your relationship right and you don't realize that your relationship is about you and about what you put into it right, you don't realize that, then all of your relationships are going to continue to have the same exact outcome, right, because you haven't changed shit. It's not about your spouse, it's not about your boyfriend or your girlfriend of the person you're dating. Right, it's not about them, it's about you. What do you need to change? What do you need to do? How can you make the relationship better? Once you handle your business, then everything else will work out. And if you're handling your business and it's not working out with that person, then I ain't the right person for you. Right. but You keep handling your business and you keep living your life the way you need to live it, then that right personal come along. But if not, the wrong people just going to keep coming through the door left and right. If you don't change nothing, nothing's going to change. Right. People have been saying that and fortune cookies for years. It ain't nothing new. So here we go. Here's another little something, something you could do. Man, do shit together, right. A relationship ain't going to work if you both do in your separate thing, because what are you going to build your relationship on? You need to build it on a foundation of experiences. Right. The only way you could have experiences if you experience it together and I'm going to bring it right back. I'm bring it back to the dating. So when you first met this girl, right for order, this dude, you first met each other. I bet you you could call up your home boys or your home girls right now and you can be like, Hey, how did I act when I first met selling? So what was it like? And they probably their first answer is probably going to be will you as MIA? You know, Shit, Homie, we didn't talk to you for like six months. You know, you didn't come through the CRIB, you didn't go to the club, you didn't watch Monday night football, you didn't come on that guy's trick. You know, they're probably gonna be like you fell off, we didn't see you for a minute. And the same thing with your girl. Right she going to go to her friends and be like, you know, how was it when I first met him? You're going back. Well,...

...you didn't do anything right. You didn't come out with US anymore. You didn't go to Brunch, you know, you didn't come get Mimosas or whatever ladies like to do. Oh No, go get the nails painted. You know it didn't come to that networking event with us. I don't know, but you didn't do it. The point of the matter is you were too busy doing shit with your new boo. What your man? Well, I'm going to go hiking with my man. I'M gonna go hang out with my man, I'm gonna go Netflix and chill with my man. You know, and dudes like man. Now, I just got off work, man, I got a head over to my girls house. You know, my lady wants me to go to the gym with her. I'm about to go hike. You know, that's funny. I live here. I moved here, Living Phoenix area now right and people here hike all the time and I don't know if all these people really hike or everybody just talks about hipe me, I don't like. I ain't climbing up nothing. I don't hike, I don't jog, I don't run. The only time I run is a a dog or the cops are chasing me. If it ain't one of those two things, I'm not running. There ain't nothing that's going to get me to run from point a to point B. Nothing at all. People like well, if you ruin, you'll get there faster. If I drive, I get there even faster. Right, the neighborhood I live in, me and future wife, you just moved into this neighborhood, right, and it's like on the weekends, like everybody's riding their bikes, man, people riding their bikes and they're running nurse bike lanes, and this is crazy. It's crazy. And people are hiking right. People just pull off the car, tot aside the road and go hike up these mountains. It's bananas, but a lot of people do that, right. And when you first get in a relationship, especially if you're out here in Phoenix, you go hike, and if you live in other parts of the country, I'm sure you go do other stuff, go kayaking or you know, whatever it may be, go to the movies together, all these stuff. But then not stopped right. They came to the point where that stopped and you started doing your own thing and she started doing her own thing. You got to do shit together. If you want to be together, you got to do shit together, plain and simple. No, if fans are butts about it, then you got to go to bed at the same time. Now, this is a big one, man, this is a big one, and the reason this one is so big is because I'm a firm believer. And nothing good in life happens after eleven o'clock at night. Right, if you go out to the club and it's thirty at night, the odds of you going home with your soul may are slim to none. Oh, you might go home with somebody, but it ain't. You Ain't going to wake up with the person you thought you went home with. Let's keep it real. Right, because you thought you was going home with miss goody two shoes and you woke up with misslike hood or at before eleven o'clock. You could have figured that stuff out. Right. Nothing good happens after eleven o'clock. And I know a lot of dudes out there that that's like their secret time. Right, eleven o'clock, wife, he goes to bed, they looking up internet porn they like hollering it old girl friends on facebook. Right, that's like Tim that's the devil's hour. Right, that's temptation. Don't even don't even have that temptation. And then now, and I'm about to get tweeted and I'm about to get blown up, all the dudes are going to be saying, well, she likes to go to bed early and I like to stay up. You know I'm a night out. I've been a night out from day one and I'm a night out man. You know I'm not like everybody else. Look, you can still stay up because I guarantee you you got at least a forty something inch TV flat screen hanging on the wall in your bed room anyway. Right. So, there ain't nothing wrong with getting a little cuddle time in and then you watch the TV. And if she can't fall asleep while you watch TV, then read a book, Watch TV on your phone, some headphones in. There's all kinds of alternatives, but make sure you go to bed together now, Dude. Here here's the bonus. Right, here's the bonus. The more you go to bed together on time, at the same time, the greater opportunity you have to make love to your woman, especially if you have kids and jobs and responsibilities and life's burdens. There's already so much stuff that's keeping you guys from making love all day long. If she goes to bed at ten and you go to bed at two, the odds of you getting any or slim to none. Same for the ladies. If you want to make love to your man, you guys have to go to bed on time at the same time. Like, make it a plan. Make it a plan. Hey, we're going to bed at eleven o'clock at night, you know, together. So if you got work to do, you better finish that work before eleven because you aint bringing that computer into...

...this bed. And then, if you guys can't fall asleep, taught look into each other's eyes. I guarantee you, laying in bed looking into each other's eyes will put your ass to sleep faster than anything. And I noticed from experience, and it's funny too, that I'm doing this show and this just happened to me. went to bed last night and I wasn't really that's tired, but I go to bed at the same time every single night. I just I have to, or else my shit gets all messed up and then I start watching the clock. I got issues, man, I have to go to bed at same time. That being said, so it gets to bed and typically we watched TV for a little bit in bed for we go to sleep. But future wife, he goes, can we just lay here and talk and look at each other's eyes? I'm like, what, come on, what are we twelve? We about to get married, I can get some like there's other things we can do besides look at each other's eyes. But I'm like, all right, let's look at each other's eyes and then I'm going to get some. Nope, I never got none because we lift in each other's eyes and I was out. I'm like, I was out quick man. It was. It was too romantical. But there's something about making that connection right, some about making that connection. It just makes you feel all warm and safe and loved. So go to bed at the same time, because at once again shows that you're my priority. There's nothing I would rather do than hold you before I go to sleep and make sure that you kiss each other tonight. I had some clients a while back. They've been married for a long, long, long time and they don't show any affection towards each other anymore. They don't hug, they don't hold hands, they don't kiss, and it was really hard for them to get that back. It was a challenge, like I had to challenge them week in and week out, challenge them to hold hands and to kiss. So I'm tell you right now, don't let it slip, don't let it go five hundred and ten fifteen years without kissing and hugging and holding hands. Don't let a day go by, because it's a lot easier to keep it going day in and day out then it is to lose it and pick it back up. So don't let it go. The other thing, not this one's a little, a little touchy, a little touchy, but this is important, right, because I think this is where, like, a lot of challenges and relationships lie, and it boils down to trust, right, you have to trust the person you're own relationship with, whether it's your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your wife, whatever, and this is best. If you could figure this out, for all the single listeners out there, if you could figure this out, why you're dating people, is best. It's kind it's a little more challenging once you're in a relationship, but once you say those I do still death do you part, then you just got to roll with it. But what you got to do manage, you got to let that freak flag fly. God to let it God, let it fly high, because we all have different desires, different ones, different things that turn us on right, different fantasies. We all have them. If you say, if you telling me right now, that you don't have no weird fantasy than you lye in, because they something. There's something that people fantasize about, something you've ow he's wanted to do but you too embarrassed to say it. And for girls, man, this and this and it all doesn't have to be like sexual either. That's the thing too. For girls it could be like you know, I know some ladies that have been married for multiple years and they do not go number two in the same bathroom that the husband's in that room. Right. So if the husband's in the bedroom and they got a bathroom in their master bedroom, they won't go to that bathroom, will go use the guest bathroom. How fucked up is that? Come on, man, what like? Ain't nobody else shit before? Like I don't know, you do it, like everybody does it. Wendy's over here just laughing. She is dying, but it's the truth, right. Or what about farting? Like you know how if you just let it go and then say, oh, excuse me, that's it, like we everybody does it. If you can't Fart next year, husband or your wife or your boyfriend or your girlfriend, who that? We like you look gon have stomach ache. And then that's going to make you cranky and then you're going to feel shameful. Right, and it might be a little thing like farting. It makes you feel shame. But why carry any shame in your life? It's not like you're like some dirty person because you got a Fart. It just shit happens, man, right, it just happened. Is and if you...

...can't express that with your spouse, then how are you going to like be like, Hey, babe, you know what, if we get some handcuffs or some whips and chains or like whatever you may may want, you know, like, you know what about like some backscratches? Are you know, will you kiss my feet? I don't know, man, is a million fetishes out there. Google it. But you got to let your freak flag fly in front of your spouse, man. You got to your boyfriend, your girlfriend, whatever it may be. So, if you listening right now, tonight, go home, tell your partner. Man, baby, this is what I want tonight. Hey, you know what, I've always wanted you to dress up as a Brunette and let's go meet at the bar, like you a stranger, and I'm going to pick you up. I'm going to try some of my moves. I must spit some game. I and spit some game in fifteen years. I'm about to go spit some game. Okay, go, go, dress up right, I'm gonna say my name is Enrique, I'm on vacation. We don't get a hotel room. Right, I don't know, whatever it is, but you got to let it fly, man, because if not, you're going to be in a position to where you're like, my partner doesn't love me for me, my partner doesn't love the true me. I can't express the real me because I'm afraid my partner won't like it. How will you know? And as you ask, but as comfortable as you want your partner to be with your freakiness, you have to promise to be just as comfortable with their freakiness. Right. So you can't go home to your girl and be like Yo, baby, I want to have a three son, but you can't far in bed, right, you can't poop in the same bath room. No, you got to be like baby, blow it out. Go ahead, I still love you, dirty bowls and all you, my boot man. This show is taken a turn. Ain't it is taking a turn. He listening to Dad's with Swag. Hit US up. You got any comment? Hey, what are some of your freaky Freaky freaks? Hit Me up at your coach Swan on twitter, instagram, all social media. Email me, Sean Shan off on SOCOM. If you want it to be more anonymous, I won't call you out, I won't tell anybody or email address. I won't be like Yo, this is Beth from Brooklyn. Naw, I'll just keep it anonymous. Hit US up, DADS with swag. Man. We got all kinds of episodes. If you like this, you like what you're hearing, check out some of my other shows, man, they're cool. And if you like this and you're definitely going to like all the other shows, so check it out. We bout to take a quick little break. Pede Pablo frequently her clean drop a down will now. I like that. Let's take some calls from the request line. Call it number one. Hey, Ma, I got that. Came right out shout out the radio station. They gave you what you wanted. You for one waking what you gets. She'll work face some cute lips, ringing a tongue, and you know what, you knew what to do. Ain't more sealm. You do it. We all. I know how to keep a bitch, to keep time. Called she right there, right there. You know why? She came a little bit a girl like I'm freaking freeway and try and they scared up and love to get up. But because I ain't drug enough to do that, I need to know a whole lot and can teach me to do that, for I'm spoiling out. Relax and IT JOE my time back and my toes curl. It comes out of me out to get her sem. And what you want? Do you want to put your feet, Cram your face and the fellows are you can yell a lot of you won't flow to you want. ME.

Now back to dad's with swag. It's your host, Shawn up as. Let's do it. Check US out on itunes. Dad's with SWAGCOM HIT US up on social media at your coach, Shaan. Don't forget to subscribe on Itunes to Christine and my social media director. She likes some people subscribe on Itunes. Apparently it makes me cool. I don't feel any cooler whenever somebody hits subscribe, but apparently it makes me cooler. I don't know. We'll see what happens. Man, I'm not too I don't I'm not. I'm not too hip on his social media stuff, all these like followers and read tweeters and all that stuff. But thanks for showing your love. Hit Me Up, you know I'll comment, I'll answer back. I promise I won't leave you hanging. But all right, let's get back into this relationship saving business here we got going. So another important thing when you're in a relationship, because we complain about relationships all the time, right. We complain about like what our spouse is doing or not doing. What aren't you know, what our what our boyfriend or girlfriend is doing or not doing, or what they used to do or they don't do, or with my best friend's husband does and my husband doesn't, or what you know my home boys girlfriend will do, but I won't, but my girlfriend won't do it. Like we're definitely like a compare society, right. We always compare and shit to other shit. You know, even in Sports, like you know Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, like everybody. Compare, compare, compare, like, yeah, MJ was great and amazing and a great basketball player. And he could dunk and he could fly and made everybody want to learn how to dunk. But Lebron is an amazing basketball player too, but he don't have to be compared to Jordan. Let's just love Lebron for Lebron. Let's just love curry for curry, right. And it's the same thing in your relationship, man, love your relationship for your relationship. Be Thankful for what you got. Every day, every day, be thankful for the relationship you have, because I'm gonna tell you right now, man, I like I gave a little discount for some people who are looking for, like their perfect partner at the beginning of the year and I got like flooded, right I got flooded. It was like Katrina, like it was flooded, and so you need to be thankful, man. You need to be thankful for that relationship you're in, because there's a lot of people out there that would love to be in a relationship right now. They would love to be in a relationship and I guarantee you, because they was coached by me, when they get in that relationship, they will be thankful every day that they're in a relationship that they purposefully built and they will be thankful. You got to be thankful, man. You got to be thankful for that relationship that you're in and you got to let your spouse know it. Man, your partner know what, your girlfriend know what. Hey, I'm thankful for you. Just and don't wait till you know, the third Thursday and November like we can be thankful for people all day, every day, all year long. Let your partner know, Hey, I'm thankful for you, man. I'm...

...thankful for you washing the dishes. I'm thankful for you for making a bead. I'm thankful to you for bringing home a paycheck. I'm thankful for you for keeping me safe. I'm thankful for you for, you know, cooking me some dinner. I'm thankful for you for getting me medicine when I don't feel good. I'm thankful for you for just being with me and putting up with my shit. Right. That's the one I got to be thankful for the most. You know. I'm thankful for you for just liking me, because I'm a hot mess. Thank you, but you got to be thankful for what you got, because everybody relationship has ups, has downs, has sideways, by ways and you don't know, but your homeboys relationships really like. You just know the part that you're seeing and you're just getting like your perspective of it. Your perception can be completely wrong. Man. Ever, relationship could be horseshit could be one day away from falling apart, or they can be two of the most unhappy people you've ever seen and they just fake it in public. You don't know. Your relationship could be a thousand times better than their relationship, but here you're feeling down about yourself. Just be thankful for what you got. Don't worry about what other people got. That ain't none of your business, that's none of your concern. Should be thankful for what you got. And the other thing is right or died. You got to ride and die, definitely, or get out. Right. If you're in a relationship and you can't ride or die for that person you're with, then get out, move on. I know it's scary, I know it's going to be hard. I know maybe financially it's not the best thing to do. It's not going to be good for the kids, it's not going to you know, what society going to think of? My parents going to think one of my friends going to say, if you cannot ride and die with your spouse, then get out, or your boyfriend or your girlfriend, then get out, because that's what this relationship sh it's all about, man. It's about trust, it's about authenticity, it's about being able to say that I can be myself, no matter what myself is, no matter what my true self is, I can be me and the two people in the world that will not judge me for being me is God and you right, because that's the only way it's going to work. That's the only way that you're going to be able to come home and say, baby, I had a bad day. That's the only way you're going to be able to come home and say, honey, I fucked up. That's the only way that you're going to be able to come home and say, honey, I need a hug, or whatever it may be, right unless you know that this person is with you no matter what, no matter that errors, no matter the pitfalls, no matter the circumstances, we're going to fight together. Together will fight this beast. You know, I get a lot of people that they always say like well, if my partner cheats on me, I'm out okay, I understand how you could be hurt if that were to happen. But what after your partner gets in a car accident and then gets hooked on prescription painkillers, stops going to work, start stealing from family members, stealing all a prescriptions, breaks into houses in the neighborhood and steals those prescriptions? Are you out then? Right, because you quickly out if they cheat. Right, if they cheat, you out in the second but what if something else happens? Are you out or you like baby, let's get you some help. Maybe I'm here with you. Yeah, you got this pill problem, but I'm here, I'm by your side. Let's fight for this right. You can fight for anything you choose to fight for. The thing is, are you willing to choose to fight for that person laying next to you, that person that you say you love? That's the person you need to be fighting for. Everything else a circumstance right. Everything else is just nonsense. It's got to be right or die. It's got to be so death to US part. It's got to be. I love you forever, but if I stop loving you and I'd no longer willing to ride and die, then you got to get out. No Halfway Crooks, man. You can't have one foot in and one foot out. You can't do it. It's not going to work out, because what's going to happen then is the trust is going to break away, right, and when trust breaks away,...

...then insecurities creep up. When insecurities creep up, then bad shit happens, because then our self esteem goes down right, and then we need something to pick us up. Well, what's that going to be? Is that going to be booze? Is that going to be gambling? Is that going to be somebody else? You know, if your Old Lady can't trust you, if your Old Lady doesn't believe that you love her for her no matter what, then she ain't going to feel safe around you. Then she's not going to feel sick pretty around you. She's not going to feel comfortable around you. And when I do it at the office, tell her how pretty she looks, you don't think she gonna listen. She won't listen, she won't listen. All right, then it ain't necessarily her fault, because you wasn't down, you wasn't all the way in, you were halfway in. You're like, I'll love you unless you fart in bed, and then I'm out right. Don't work that way. I love you because you fart in bed. Baby, now get under these blankets like his kid. But that's come on. Let's keep it real, though. You have to love them no matter what. Maybe no matter what happens. I'm here for you because I guarantee you in a relationship you're going to fall all, you're gonna Stumble. There's going to be a lot of those days. You'RE gonna have a lot of great days, a lot of good days, right, but you can have some fucked up days too, and your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your spouse, they need to know that. Hey, when I'm having a fucked up day, you're going to be there for me, with me. You got my back, you're not going to judge me, you're not going to sacrifice me. You're the one person in my life that I could come to no matter what, because everybody needs that and everybody wants that. Everybody deserves it. You deserve it, your partner deserves it. So start being authentic, start being real, be real with yourself, be real with your partner. You guys are listening to dad's with SPAG man. We talking all things relationships with you know, keep it, keep it real in your relationship, you know, because all this information I just gave you will save your relationship. It definitely will. You just have to do it. You got to do it and if you do it, it's going to work right and it's not going to work overnight. So don't be calling me up in three weeks and be like, Yo, Shan, I did everything you said, but my relationship still sucks. Takes Time, man, takes effort. It. Stop counting and start doing how about that? That will be my first response to you. Stop counting to days and start doing the work, because what you put into the relationship you're going to get out of the relationship. There you go, another fortune cookie for you. That's too fortune cookie drops I've given you guys today. What you put in you're going to get out. If you put in a lot, you're going to get out a lot. So put in a whole bunch. Man, ladies, put in a whole bunch. Fellas, put in a whole bunch. Be Thankful for that relationship you got. Do Shit together. Go to bed at the same time. Let your spouse know how freaky you are. Hang up the phone man, when you are around your Old Lady, you only need to be telling nobody. You need to be texting her, calling her, talking to that bad always kiss your girl, man, kiss there like it's the first time y'all kissed. Make her toes tingle and the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. And I know some people out there. They've been married ten, fifteen, twenty, thirty years, but you still got it go when you get home from work today, man, just give it to her. Give her a kiss, give her that kiss, give it that moist maker of a kiss. You know what I'm talking about. Everybody and every relationship knows that kiss right, that kiss, that toe twirling kiss. Man, go give it to her and out serve your spouse. Out serve them. Don't let them out serve you. Do the craziest things to let them know that you love them. Simple doesn't mean extraordinary gifts. It means the simple little things, simple little things unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, put a note in a purse, put a note in their wallet. Pick him a flower, write him a love letter, send them a tweet,...

...tell him how beautiful they look on instagram. Right all these little things, but serve them out, serve them, let them know that you love them more than anything in the whole world. You listen to dads with swag we out. Thanks for listening to DAD's sweat. Check out new episodes every Thursday or go to dad's for swagcom down the past episodes.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (33)